1 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:15,725 *THE GRAND TOUR* Season 01 Episode 10 "Dumb Fight at the O.K. Coral" 2 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:22,461 ♪♪ 3 00:00:22,485 --> 00:00:27,429 ♪♪ 4 00:00:27,453 --> 00:00:32,484 ♪♪ 5 00:00:32,508 --> 00:00:37,508 ♪♪ 6 00:00:37,532 --> 00:00:42,532 ♪♪ 7 00:00:42,556 --> 00:00:47,556 ♪♪ 8 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:52,954 ♪♪ 9 00:00:53,506 --> 00:00:56,306 (CHEERING) 10 00:01:10,902 --> 00:01:12,706 Thank you. 11 00:01:13,713 --> 00:01:15,307 Thank you. 12 00:01:16,942 --> 00:01:19,198 Hello, and welcome to The Grand Tour, 13 00:01:19,299 --> 00:01:22,159 which this week comes to you from Nashville! 14 00:01:22,275 --> 00:01:24,682 - There it is. - (CHEERING) 15 00:01:25,635 --> 00:01:29,156 It was er... It's a city that was named after General Nash. 16 00:01:29,292 --> 00:01:31,591 Big war hero, kicked the British out. 17 00:01:31,854 --> 00:01:34,143 - He got er... - (CHEERING) 18 00:01:34,486 --> 00:01:38,211 You ended up with independence. And how's that working out for you? 19 00:01:39,596 --> 00:01:42,277 I only ask because we were looking the other day at the 20 00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:44,534 bestselling cars in America these days. 21 00:01:44,620 --> 00:01:46,502 This is the top five. 22 00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:50,101 There you go, that's independence... working well. 23 00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,893 Toyota, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, Honda. 24 00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:55,573 So what is actually made in Detroit these days, then? 25 00:01:55,768 --> 00:02:01,088 Er... Well, mostly they just grow sustainable organic peace beans. 26 00:02:01,509 --> 00:02:04,407 (LAUGHTER) - It's just women with armpit hair growing kale. 27 00:02:04,456 --> 00:02:06,016 That's all that's going on there... 28 00:02:06,088 --> 00:02:08,362 municipal farms for the community. 29 00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:11,198 Now, the reason we've come to Nashville 30 00:02:11,276 --> 00:02:12,674 is very simple, in fact. 31 00:02:12,745 --> 00:02:14,956 It's because I've been to all 50 of the US states, 32 00:02:14,985 --> 00:02:16,534 but I'd never been here before. 33 00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:18,182 And what a town! 34 00:02:18,282 --> 00:02:19,784 - Yeah. - (CHEERING) 35 00:02:21,776 --> 00:02:23,688 JAMES: Love it. JEREMY: Who knew? 36 00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:25,682 - We are loving it. - Who knew? 37 00:02:25,792 --> 00:02:27,193 It is a great place, we're loving it, 38 00:02:27,217 --> 00:02:29,244 and the music is amazing. 39 00:02:29,338 --> 00:02:31,896 - Loving that... very much. - (CHEERING) 40 00:02:31,995 --> 00:02:33,898 JAMES: Well... RICHARD: What? 41 00:02:34,002 --> 00:02:35,698 - Not really. - Mate, you can't... 42 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,760 This is known as Music City USA. 43 00:02:37,814 --> 00:02:40,502 - That's what it is, where we are. - Um, but it isn't, is it? 44 00:02:40,573 --> 00:02:41,606 Because Detroit is. 45 00:02:41,690 --> 00:02:43,841 Oh, no. Listen... No. 46 00:02:43,924 --> 00:02:45,331 - (JEERING) - JEREMY: It is. 47 00:02:45,417 --> 00:02:46,944 Motown... Motown 48 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,346 is just three minutes of jangly nonsense. 49 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,221 - Oh, come on, Hammond! - It is! 50 00:02:51,268 --> 00:02:52,815 Hammond, it just isn't! 51 00:02:52,877 --> 00:02:54,323 You cannot possibly say that. 52 00:02:54,401 --> 00:02:55,385 Country and western music 53 00:02:55,410 --> 00:02:57,073 is designed to make you miserable. 54 00:02:57,213 --> 00:02:59,534 Motown is designed to make you happy. 55 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,690 No, he's absolutely right. Motown is happier music. 56 00:03:01,752 --> 00:03:03,252 I mean, take something like 57 00:03:03,362 --> 00:03:05,479 Martha Reeves "Dancing In The Streets", OK? 58 00:03:05,526 --> 00:03:07,057 Listen to how happy the words are. 59 00:03:07,112 --> 00:03:10,221 "Every guy, grab a girl, everywhere around the world." 60 00:03:10,268 --> 00:03:12,221 Isn't that what Donald was telling us to do? 61 00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:13,601 (LAUGHTER) 62 00:03:16,957 --> 00:03:19,348 Well, he was, wasn't he? He did. He did. 63 00:03:19,397 --> 00:03:21,629 No, he said, "Every guy, grope a girl." 64 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,567 - A very different thing. - (LAUGHTER) 65 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:26,175 Detroit isn't just Motown. Bob Seger's from Detroit. 66 00:03:26,231 --> 00:03:27,552 It's just housewives' music. 67 00:03:27,645 --> 00:03:30,020 - Ted Nugent - Mad! 68 00:03:30,121 --> 00:03:31,778 - Iggy Pop. - Ridiculous. 69 00:03:31,887 --> 00:03:33,395 - Madonna. - Annoying. 70 00:03:33,425 --> 00:03:35,043 - Eminem. - Can't sing. 71 00:03:35,093 --> 00:03:36,856 - Alice Cooper. - Ridiculous again. 72 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:38,793 - Half of The Eagles. - Which half? 73 00:03:38,910 --> 00:03:40,723 - Glenn Frey. - I don't like that half. 74 00:03:40,747 --> 00:03:42,233 (LAUGHTER) 75 00:03:42,465 --> 00:03:44,942 Nashville. Right, what's come out of here? Miley Cyrus. 76 00:03:44,973 --> 00:03:46,012 Brilliant! 77 00:03:46,097 --> 00:03:48,566 (LAUGHTER) 78 00:03:48,872 --> 00:03:51,052 - You just said that out loud on television. - I did. 79 00:03:51,112 --> 00:03:53,302 And... And The Allman Brothers. 80 00:03:53,348 --> 00:03:55,231 - Never heard of them. - (GASPS AND LAUGHTER) 81 00:03:55,309 --> 00:03:56,677 JEREMY: You have. 82 00:03:56,723 --> 00:03:57,864 The Allman Brothers, 83 00:03:57,889 --> 00:03:59,653 they had that one hit, instrumental. 84 00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:01,490 - What was it called? MAN: Jessica. 85 00:04:01,598 --> 00:04:02,669 - Jennifer. - (LAUGHTER) 86 00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:04,028 Oh, I hated that. 87 00:04:04,098 --> 00:04:05,356 You never hear it any more, do you? 88 00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:06,658 JAMES: No. Rubbish. 89 00:04:06,731 --> 00:04:07,848 RICHARD: Weirdest thing. 90 00:04:07,879 --> 00:04:09,361 Weirdest thing. 91 00:04:09,386 --> 00:04:10,660 - Oh, hello. - A message. 92 00:04:10,747 --> 00:04:11,805 Oh, sorry. 93 00:04:11,888 --> 00:04:13,317 This is a message from Mr Wilman. 94 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,513 We've gone a bit off topic. 95 00:04:14,559 --> 00:04:15,797 He might be cross. We have a bit. 96 00:04:15,821 --> 00:04:18,317 There is a car thing here we ought to talk about. 97 00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:21,606 It's called coal rolling. Are you familiar with this? 98 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,141 It has its origins in a sport 99 00:04:24,325 --> 00:04:27,059 where people go with their pickup trucks into a field 100 00:04:27,138 --> 00:04:29,620 and see who can tow the heaviest thing. 101 00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:32,456 - Yep. Oh, yep. - We've got some footage here of it happening. 102 00:04:32,635 --> 00:04:35,262 Look at that! The man in a pickup truck towing a heavy thing. 103 00:04:35,287 --> 00:04:36,830 RICHARD: There you go. 104 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,971 Things you will never hear said at that event: 105 00:04:39,049 --> 00:04:41,221 "Got to rush, lads. I'm late for a poetry reading." 106 00:04:41,299 --> 00:04:42,794 (LAUGHTER) 107 00:04:42,939 --> 00:04:44,104 JAMES: That's truck number three... 108 00:04:44,128 --> 00:04:45,307 Bernie Sanders, everybody. 109 00:04:45,338 --> 00:04:46,998 (LAUGHTER) 110 00:04:47,127 --> 00:04:48,619 Anyway, the thing is, they worked out 111 00:04:48,691 --> 00:04:49,931 they could pull more heavy things 112 00:04:49,955 --> 00:04:52,753 if they fiddled with the ECU on the diesel engines, 113 00:04:52,909 --> 00:04:54,901 because that would generate more power, 114 00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:56,901 and, as a by-product, more smoke, 115 00:04:56,962 --> 00:04:58,846 cos that's why it's called coal rolling. 116 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,955 And now, various kids have started to do it out on the highway. 117 00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:03,439 What they do is go out on the street 118 00:05:03,463 --> 00:05:05,979 and then do it when they overtake a Toyota Prius. 119 00:05:06,057 --> 00:05:08,667 Look at this. Here we go. 120 00:05:08,877 --> 00:05:12,885 RICHARD: Oh, for God's sake! Really?! Oh, come on! 121 00:05:13,026 --> 00:05:14,620 Really?! 122 00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:17,081 - Now, I... - That's just... 123 00:05:17,338 --> 00:05:20,331 I just... I know, I know I shouldn't say this. 124 00:05:20,378 --> 00:05:22,448 But every time I overtake a Prius, 125 00:05:22,596 --> 00:05:24,969 I always think, "I could do this in fourth... 126 00:05:25,143 --> 00:05:27,010 "but I'm gonna use second instead 127 00:05:27,253 --> 00:05:28,651 to annoy them even more." 128 00:05:28,698 --> 00:05:31,370 You do know you are 56 years old? 129 00:05:31,463 --> 00:05:33,737 - Yeah, but I've got a mental age of nine. - Oh, yeah. 130 00:05:33,831 --> 00:05:36,245 - Shall we get on with the show? - Yeah, it's time. 131 00:05:36,307 --> 00:05:39,995 On with the show. In our car show this week... 132 00:05:41,588 --> 00:05:44,362 James runs over a sun lounger. 133 00:05:46,659 --> 00:05:48,378 Richard has a beer. 134 00:05:50,471 --> 00:05:52,081 And I go on a thing. 135 00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:53,862 Jesus! 136 00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:56,776 Anyway, before all that, 137 00:05:56,862 --> 00:05:58,262 we've been having a bit of a debate. 138 00:05:58,307 --> 00:06:01,547 You see, I say you don't need to buy a BMW M3 139 00:06:01,603 --> 00:06:06,392 because for £11,000 less you can have a Jaguar XE S, 140 00:06:06,444 --> 00:06:08,236 which is nicer to drive, 141 00:06:08,314 --> 00:06:10,502 more comfortable and just as fast. 142 00:06:10,549 --> 00:06:12,470 - It isn't just as fast. - Yes, it is. 143 00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:15,220 - No, it isn't. - They both do 155mph. 144 00:06:15,259 --> 00:06:18,822 Yes, because the BMW has been electronically limited to 155. 145 00:06:18,891 --> 00:06:20,713 The Jag is just... limited. 146 00:06:21,111 --> 00:06:22,742 - (LAUGHTER) - Sorry to interrupt. 147 00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:24,298 It's just that both my colleagues are wrong. 148 00:06:24,322 --> 00:06:26,998 Because if you want a small, fast saloon car, 149 00:06:27,064 --> 00:06:28,517 what you absolutely have to have... 150 00:06:28,564 --> 00:06:29,644 If you're gonna start going on 151 00:06:29,668 --> 00:06:32,564 about that Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio, 152 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,040 I am gonna stab you in the eye with this pen. 153 00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:37,822 - No, he's... - A number of times. 154 00:06:37,876 --> 00:06:40,439 He's right. Alfa Romeo have not made a decent car 155 00:06:40,464 --> 00:06:42,158 for 30 years. 156 00:06:42,275 --> 00:06:43,986 - Erm... - "Erm" nothing, 157 00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,470 because we need to get back to the point. 158 00:06:45,494 --> 00:06:46,494 James and I have decided 159 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,072 it was time to sort out this Jaguar-BMW debate 160 00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:52,517 with a proper old-school road test in Scotland. 161 00:07:02,801 --> 00:07:04,951 Hello, and welcome to Wales, 162 00:07:04,997 --> 00:07:08,411 where I've come with all of our film crews and this, 163 00:07:08,576 --> 00:07:14,935 the brand-new Alfa Romeo Giulia... Quadrifoglio. 164 00:07:15,896 --> 00:07:17,021 I think. 165 00:07:17,107 --> 00:07:18,549 Whatever. 166 00:07:18,724 --> 00:07:22,185 Let's get on now and see what's what. 167 00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:29,607 Now, for this to be a proper Alfa Romeo, 168 00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:33,573 there must be... something wrong with it. 169 00:07:33,638 --> 00:07:34,747 Think about it. 170 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,435 A person who's kind to his mother 171 00:07:37,513 --> 00:07:41,536 and punctual and sober and well-dressed, he's an Audi. 172 00:07:41,731 --> 00:07:45,059 And nobody wants a friend like that. 173 00:07:45,154 --> 00:07:48,076 If you're going to form a relationship with a car, 174 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,458 if you're gonna develop a bond, 175 00:07:50,630 --> 00:07:52,669 it's got to have human qualities. 176 00:07:52,785 --> 00:07:54,952 And if it's gonna have human qualities, 177 00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:57,904 it's got to have faults. 178 00:07:58,326 --> 00:08:02,560 And this car, I'm delighted to say, has a big one. 179 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,488 I don't know quite how they've managed this, 180 00:08:07,566 --> 00:08:09,633 but it's not very easy to get out of. 181 00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:11,836 You've got this pillar here, then the wheel here, 182 00:08:11,894 --> 00:08:13,470 and there isn't enough of a... 183 00:08:13,558 --> 00:08:16,886 of a gap between the two. 184 00:08:16,975 --> 00:08:18,683 Hang on a minute. Hang on. 185 00:08:19,925 --> 00:08:22,753 How Alfa Romeo is that? 186 00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,636 They put the door in the wrong place. It should be... 187 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,488 It should be further back. 188 00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:29,861 That is brilliant. 189 00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:32,285 ♪♪ 190 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,025 There's more, too. 191 00:08:34,066 --> 00:08:36,222 It's not a particularly handsome car. 192 00:08:36,261 --> 00:08:37,995 The wheels are too small. 193 00:08:38,074 --> 00:08:39,103 And for some reason, 194 00:08:39,128 --> 00:08:41,191 they've chosen to make the front 195 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,996 look like a Wolseley. 196 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,671 Now, in the recent past... James is quite right... 197 00:08:47,699 --> 00:08:49,113 Alfas have had their faults 198 00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:51,269 and then no good bits to compensate. 199 00:08:51,316 --> 00:08:53,574 They've just been wrong-wheel-drive Fiats 200 00:08:53,604 --> 00:08:55,122 with the word "Fiat" crossed out 201 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,605 and "Alfa Romeo" written in in crayon. 202 00:08:57,988 --> 00:08:59,949 That, though... 203 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,169 that's a very different animal. 204 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:06,909 ♪♪ 205 00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:11,787 ♪♪ 206 00:09:11,811 --> 00:09:16,779 ♪♪ 207 00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:21,865 ♪♪ 208 00:09:21,889 --> 00:09:26,560 ♪♪ 209 00:09:26,584 --> 00:09:31,568 ♪♪ 210 00:09:31,592 --> 00:09:36,185 ♪♪ 211 00:09:36,279 --> 00:09:39,017 This is a fabulous car, 212 00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:40,665 an epic car. 213 00:09:40,859 --> 00:09:42,945 Probably because it's the love child 214 00:09:42,993 --> 00:09:47,431 of the same man who engineered the Ferrari 458. 215 00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:54,662 ♪♪ 216 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:58,014 He's given it a carbon-fibre propshaft, 217 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,373 a carbon-fibre roof, 218 00:10:00,441 --> 00:10:02,271 a carbon-fibre bonnet, 219 00:10:02,373 --> 00:10:04,920 a proper limited-slip differential, 220 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,568 telepathic steering and a clever gearbox. 221 00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:11,154 But the most impressive bit of this car 222 00:10:11,256 --> 00:10:15,860 is its turbocharged 2.9L V6 engine. 223 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:21,662 An engine that wobbles when you close the door. 224 00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:24,268 That is brilliant. Look at that. 225 00:10:24,389 --> 00:10:27,834 You don't get that sort of thing from an Audi, do you? 226 00:10:28,263 --> 00:10:29,794 Ferrari, which, of course, 227 00:10:29,893 --> 00:10:31,928 is part of the same company as Alfa Romeo, 228 00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,826 is very keen to point out 229 00:10:33,878 --> 00:10:37,404 that this is not the engine they use in the California 230 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,516 with two cylinders removed. 231 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:41,482 They say it's a complete coincidence 232 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:45,029 that both engines have the same bore/stroke and V-angle. 233 00:10:45,154 --> 00:10:49,724 They're adamant that this is all Alfa Romeo's own work. 234 00:10:50,019 --> 00:10:51,803 So, there we are. 235 00:10:53,077 --> 00:10:54,712 It is, then. 236 00:10:57,869 --> 00:11:00,615 And what work it is. 237 00:11:00,754 --> 00:11:05,523 You get 503 brake horsepower. 238 00:11:05,911 --> 00:11:11,490 That is 60 more than you get from a BMW M3. 60! 239 00:11:14,745 --> 00:11:17,318 It's 175 more 240 00:11:17,396 --> 00:11:18,779 than you get from that Jag 241 00:11:18,814 --> 00:11:21,435 that James would be droning on about now, 242 00:11:21,482 --> 00:11:24,967 had I not stepped in and saved the day. 243 00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:27,465 And then there's the way it revs. 244 00:11:32,702 --> 00:11:34,316 Ha! 245 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:40,941 Most turbocharged engines are a bit wheezy at the top end, 246 00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:44,332 but because the twin-scroll turbo in this 247 00:11:44,418 --> 00:11:47,511 is mounted in the V of the engine... 248 00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:50,454 just like it is in a Ferrari California, 249 00:11:50,527 --> 00:11:51,925 coincidentally, 250 00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:54,761 the rev counter is still a blur 251 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:57,183 right up to the red zone. 252 00:12:15,913 --> 00:12:17,615 This engine is... 253 00:12:19,051 --> 00:12:20,838 it's a masterpiece. 254 00:12:20,952 --> 00:12:23,026 An absolute gem. 255 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,393 So, while this may look like a Wolseley, 256 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,534 it certainly doesn't go like one. 257 00:12:32,963 --> 00:12:38,643 It has a top speed, in fact, of 191mph. 258 00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:42,784 What this car is 259 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:44,706 is a Ferrari... 260 00:12:45,491 --> 00:12:48,206 wearing four-door sensi-panties. 261 00:12:49,838 --> 00:12:54,851 And that brings me onto this car's party piece. 262 00:12:55,026 --> 00:12:58,792 At normal speeds, it's very quiet and very civilised. 263 00:12:59,002 --> 00:13:00,924 And even though it's running on wheels 264 00:13:01,034 --> 00:13:03,860 that appear to have come off the bottom of a sofa, 265 00:13:03,963 --> 00:13:05,129 it's very comfortable, 266 00:13:05,154 --> 00:13:06,549 even if you push this, 267 00:13:06,596 --> 00:13:09,073 you put it in bumpy-suspension mode. 268 00:13:11,604 --> 00:13:13,870 The only setting I haven't yet tried 269 00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:16,042 is this one... "race". 270 00:13:16,974 --> 00:13:18,284 But I think I should. 271 00:13:18,346 --> 00:13:19,385 Sadly, however, 272 00:13:19,453 --> 00:13:21,721 before I found somewhere to try it out, 273 00:13:22,013 --> 00:13:24,768 I received a telephone call. 274 00:13:24,873 --> 00:13:26,675 (PHONE RINGING) 275 00:13:30,122 --> 00:13:32,557 Oh, no. What? 276 00:13:32,838 --> 00:13:35,602 - (WHISPERS) Hammond. - Have you got our film crew somewhere? 277 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:39,439 - Yes, I have. - Are you using them to film an Alfa? 278 00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:41,393 - Yes, I am. - Where are you? 279 00:13:41,479 --> 00:13:43,518 - Wales. - Wales?! 280 00:13:43,635 --> 00:13:45,721 JAMES: You can't just arrange that we go to Scotland 281 00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,245 and then disappear off to Wales. 282 00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:48,792 I didn't tell you to go to Scotland. 283 00:13:48,893 --> 00:13:50,979 You decided to go to Scotland on your own. 284 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,385 (CLATTERING) 285 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,800 RICHARD: We've come all the way to Scotland 286 00:13:53,824 --> 00:13:55,581 to do this with these two cars. 287 00:13:55,647 --> 00:13:58,385 This is the test. You trying to shoehorn... 288 00:13:58,643 --> 00:14:00,588 It's wonderful there are Alfa Romeos in the world. 289 00:14:00,612 --> 00:14:02,643 That's a lovely thing that we can all... 290 00:14:02,713 --> 00:14:04,132 JAMES: It doesn't matter how good you think 291 00:14:04,156 --> 00:14:06,112 the Alfa Romeo is. This is a car programme. 292 00:14:06,159 --> 00:14:08,759 RICHARD: Concepts, dreams, imagining things. 293 00:14:08,823 --> 00:14:11,338 Scotland, with two cars that are credible, relevant, 294 00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:13,221 important, work and are real. 295 00:14:13,292 --> 00:14:15,604 JEREMY: They were still shouting at me as I arrived 296 00:14:15,667 --> 00:14:18,120 with all of the film crews at our track. 297 00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:19,936 RICHARD: Itch, that you've managed to scratch 298 00:14:19,937 --> 00:14:21,120 over the last ten years. 299 00:14:21,173 --> 00:14:22,659 I don't know how. Why... 300 00:14:22,699 --> 00:14:24,533 JEREMY: (MIMICS RADIO CRACKLE) It's breaking up! 301 00:14:24,557 --> 00:14:26,987 Oh, I've lost you! 302 00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:35,235 Race mode. 303 00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:39,370 Here we go. 304 00:14:50,383 --> 00:14:53,756 In race mode, everything is in a tensed-up state: 305 00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:56,881 the throttle response, the gearbox, the steering. 306 00:14:57,014 --> 00:15:00,451 And the traction control is off! 307 00:15:00,912 --> 00:15:03,335 (YELLS AND LAUGHS) 308 00:15:20,698 --> 00:15:22,588 This has now been transformed 309 00:15:22,674 --> 00:15:24,534 from something that was brilliant... 310 00:15:24,932 --> 00:15:28,409 into something that is sensational. 311 00:15:37,612 --> 00:15:41,862 Of course, you'd never drive in race mode on the road, 312 00:15:41,971 --> 00:15:45,612 in the same way you'd never take your wristwatch into space. 313 00:15:45,807 --> 00:15:51,377 But it's nice to know that it would still work if you did. 314 00:15:51,996 --> 00:15:53,564 (CHUCKLES) And this does. 315 00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:55,924 Oh, boy, this does. 316 00:15:59,916 --> 00:16:03,338 I've always said you can't be a true petrolhead 317 00:16:03,416 --> 00:16:06,213 until you've owned an Alfa Romeo. 318 00:16:06,323 --> 00:16:08,120 And the trouble is, I've always known 319 00:16:08,174 --> 00:16:09,698 there's no Alfa Romeo 320 00:16:09,776 --> 00:16:13,010 a true petrolhead would actually want to buy. 321 00:16:13,884 --> 00:16:15,152 There is now, though. 322 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,302 (CHUCKLES) Oh, there is now. 323 00:16:30,627 --> 00:16:33,807 And so I decided to do something I've never done 324 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:37,291 with any car I've ever filmed in my entire life. 325 00:16:37,403 --> 00:16:39,424 I decided, when the test was over, 326 00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:42,588 to go to the nearest Alfa Romeo dealer... 327 00:16:43,205 --> 00:16:44,815 and buy one. 328 00:16:48,065 --> 00:16:49,099 (GRUNTS) 329 00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:05,781 (CHEERING) 330 00:17:05,806 --> 00:17:07,108 RICHARD: What? 331 00:17:12,009 --> 00:17:15,479 - What? - You total cock. 332 00:17:15,528 --> 00:17:17,080 You stole our film. 333 00:17:17,153 --> 00:17:18,762 Well, not really. 334 00:17:18,911 --> 00:17:20,747 You didn't actually buy one, did you? 335 00:17:20,852 --> 00:17:22,622 Well, no, cos I couldn't make my mind up 336 00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:23,817 between that and the 4C. 337 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,192 And it was great. It was like watching an ape return to its cage 338 00:17:26,216 --> 00:17:28,887 and finding there was an apple and a banana. 339 00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:31,362 "Oh, I like apple, but I like bananas. 340 00:17:31,419 --> 00:17:33,530 So do I want the apple or a banana?" 341 00:17:33,575 --> 00:17:34,910 You would have had both, obviously. 342 00:17:34,934 --> 00:17:36,411 Hammond, that car is brilliant, 343 00:17:36,458 --> 00:17:38,559 and it only costs £60,000. 344 00:17:38,731 --> 00:17:40,801 Yeah, but honestly, Jeremy, that doesn't mean anything. 345 00:17:40,825 --> 00:17:42,450 If Alfa Romeo launched a dog turd, 346 00:17:42,505 --> 00:17:43,427 you'd say it was brilliant. 347 00:17:43,466 --> 00:17:45,473 It is! I'm not making it up! 348 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,512 You heard it. You saw it. It's a fantastic car. 349 00:17:48,622 --> 00:17:49,981 Anyway, listen, we must find out 350 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:54,685 how fast the Quadri-thingy goes round the Eboladrome. 351 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,090 That, of course, means handing it over 352 00:17:56,114 --> 00:17:58,522 to a man who thinks that tennis is something 353 00:17:58,583 --> 00:18:00,841 that was invented by Stalin. 354 00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:03,075 He's actually a local boy this week, 355 00:18:03,177 --> 00:18:04,278 from the next state along. 356 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,262 It's the American! 357 00:18:06,349 --> 00:18:07,785 (CHEERING) 358 00:18:09,182 --> 00:18:10,315 There he is. 359 00:18:10,386 --> 00:18:11,622 And even he will enjoy 360 00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,271 this magnificent machine, 361 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:14,762 I'm sure of that. 362 00:18:14,841 --> 00:18:17,153 And he's off with a glorious bark 363 00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:20,091 and a pop from that sensational V6. 364 00:18:20,144 --> 00:18:21,255 Oh, it's wet! 365 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:26,074 OK. Alfa Romeo Julie Quad Bike 366 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:27,442 something or another. 367 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,364 I can't say it, can't pronounce it. 368 00:18:30,785 --> 00:18:32,730 I don't really like driving it. 369 00:18:33,090 --> 00:18:34,992 Oh, for God's sake! 370 00:18:36,177 --> 00:18:39,489 So, the tall one thinks this is a good car. 371 00:18:39,778 --> 00:18:43,033 I still think he was dropped on his head as a child. 372 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:46,302 Yeah, but at least I don't wear a cowboy hat to weddings. 373 00:18:46,442 --> 00:18:50,091 Right, now, powering majestically into Your Name Here. 374 00:18:50,168 --> 00:18:53,160 This could be the single greatest lap we'll ever see. 375 00:18:53,239 --> 00:18:54,684 RICHARD: See, what are you on about? 376 00:18:54,747 --> 00:18:55,817 JEREMY: It's beautifully balanced, 377 00:18:55,841 --> 00:18:57,153 hard on the power. 378 00:18:57,278 --> 00:18:59,356 A bit of a wobble there! Some oversteer, 379 00:18:59,411 --> 00:19:00,395 but it was designed to do that. 380 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:01,420 RICHARD: No, it wasn't! 381 00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:02,490 JEREMY: Stop saying things, Hammond. 382 00:19:02,514 --> 00:19:03,841 I'm busy. 383 00:19:04,536 --> 00:19:06,036 This is just a BMW 384 00:19:06,099 --> 00:19:08,318 for people who like fancy coffee. 385 00:19:08,544 --> 00:19:11,928 No, it's a BMW for people with taste and discernment. 386 00:19:12,044 --> 00:19:13,739 RICHARD: No, it's a BMW for idiots. 387 00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:14,802 JEREMY: Hammond, be quiet! 388 00:19:14,832 --> 00:19:16,271 Look at the way it's dealing 389 00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:18,168 with Old Lady's House. 390 00:19:18,169 --> 00:19:19,812 Almost no problems at all. 391 00:19:20,011 --> 00:19:21,402 Now he can really turn it up 392 00:19:21,473 --> 00:19:22,673 for the sprint to Substation. 393 00:19:22,674 --> 00:19:25,034 Such power! Such pedigree! 394 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,503 RICHARD: Such bollocks. JEREMY: Just be quiet! 395 00:19:27,574 --> 00:19:29,245 Just two corners left. 396 00:19:29,362 --> 00:19:31,917 Glorious poise in the rain through there. 397 00:19:31,983 --> 00:19:33,199 Field Of Sheep. 398 00:19:33,292 --> 00:19:35,542 Another master class in suspension control. 399 00:19:35,605 --> 00:19:36,920 And across the line! 400 00:19:36,972 --> 00:19:38,769 (CHEERING) 401 00:19:39,238 --> 00:19:41,725 - RICHARD: Well, come on, then. - Well, no... 402 00:19:41,808 --> 00:19:43,259 Come on. What did it do? 403 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,972 - What? - Time. 404 00:19:45,062 --> 00:19:46,738 No, it was wet, 405 00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:48,628 so there's no point putting it on the board. 406 00:19:48,675 --> 00:19:49,934 It'll just wear the computer out 407 00:19:49,958 --> 00:19:51,535 - for no reason. - Get on with it! 408 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,314 - We haven't got time! But I' not able... - Get on with it! 409 00:19:53,338 --> 00:19:54,957 All right, I'm gonna do it. Let's look at the time. 410 00:19:54,981 --> 00:19:58,597 There we go. Time for Jeremy's Alfa Quadriplogio. 411 00:19:59,243 --> 00:20:00,558 (LAUGHTER) 412 00:20:00,683 --> 00:20:02,378 - That's not quick, mate! - I'm sorry. 413 00:20:02,379 --> 00:20:03,402 JAMES: That's rubbish! 414 00:20:03,464 --> 00:20:05,949 In the dry, it would have done a 1:15. 415 00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:07,605 - No, it wouldn't. - Yes, it would. 416 00:20:07,675 --> 00:20:08,919 - No, it wouldn't. - It would! 417 00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,650 There's no point arguing anyway. 418 00:20:10,675 --> 00:20:12,448 He's got the Alfa Romeo thing out of his system, 419 00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,400 which is good, because it's time now 420 00:20:14,425 --> 00:20:15,933 for us to enjoy a gentle stroll 421 00:20:15,984 --> 00:20:19,409 along the sunlit sidewalks of Conversation Street. 422 00:20:19,731 --> 00:20:21,231 (MELLOW JAZZ) 423 00:20:21,232 --> 00:20:22,847 (LAUGHTER) 424 00:20:22,879 --> 00:20:25,035 ♪♪ 425 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,807 - That's a good one. - I like that one. 426 00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:32,355 It is. Right, now... 427 00:20:34,546 --> 00:20:36,647 OK. And we start with this. 428 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,886 It's the new Alfa Romeo Stelvio. 429 00:20:38,956 --> 00:20:42,222 - RICHARD: For God's sake! - This is important news. 430 00:20:42,305 --> 00:20:45,532 It's not important news. It's niche news for morons. 431 00:20:45,533 --> 00:20:47,635 It's not! It's a superb car, 432 00:20:47,692 --> 00:20:49,025 because you can have it 433 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,870 with the same 500 horsepower engine 434 00:20:50,924 --> 00:20:52,650 that you get in the Quadriplegio. 435 00:20:52,705 --> 00:20:55,732 And with that... with that you get four-wheel-drive. 436 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:58,068 So that one will work in the wet, will it? 437 00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:00,783 Hammond, when somebody has a baby, 438 00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:02,174 OK, do you go up to it and... 439 00:21:02,213 --> 00:21:03,689 "Oh, look at my new baby that I've... 440 00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:05,208 Eurgh! It's really ugly!" 441 00:21:05,209 --> 00:21:07,210 Well, only if it's ugly. 442 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,269 You see, you can't be cruel about Alfa Romeos. 443 00:21:10,582 --> 00:21:12,083 - Yes, I can. - They're trying so hard! 444 00:21:12,107 --> 00:21:14,847 Well, let's just move it on. Forget the Alfa, then. 445 00:21:14,957 --> 00:21:17,371 Now, we should talk about where we are, 446 00:21:17,449 --> 00:21:21,457 OK, Tennessee, because this is the bestselling vehicle in the state. 447 00:21:21,511 --> 00:21:23,827 - OK. - (CHEERING) 448 00:21:23,902 --> 00:21:26,396 Yeah, we've got a picture of the police car. 449 00:21:26,397 --> 00:21:27,418 (LAUGHTER) 450 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,105 And an ambulance. 451 00:21:29,230 --> 00:21:31,168 - And a hearse. - RICHARD: Yeah. 452 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,137 I'm detecting... detecting a theme here. 453 00:21:34,138 --> 00:21:35,906 The pickup truck, I think I'm right, 454 00:21:35,907 --> 00:21:38,174 is very popular in this neck of the woods, yes? 455 00:21:38,175 --> 00:21:40,143 I'm sure you may be amazed to hear 456 00:21:40,144 --> 00:21:42,613 they really haven't caught on at all in the UK. 457 00:21:42,614 --> 00:21:44,247 I mean, almost nobody has one. 458 00:21:44,248 --> 00:21:45,916 You hardly see them, which is a shame, 459 00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:47,651 because I love a pickup truck. 460 00:21:47,652 --> 00:21:49,620 JAMES: Yeah, we know. - I like a truck. 461 00:21:49,621 --> 00:21:50,921 - (CHEERING) - You know? 462 00:21:50,922 --> 00:21:53,630 I can say that here. I can say that here. 463 00:21:53,715 --> 00:21:57,066 That's fine, you can say that, but not they're actually very sensible. All right. 464 00:21:57,106 --> 00:21:58,254 Look, mate, that's not everything. 465 00:21:58,278 --> 00:21:59,934 Anyway, you drive around in your Ferrari, OK, 466 00:21:59,958 --> 00:22:02,403 and happily put up with the compromises that that imposes. 467 00:22:02,497 --> 00:22:04,500 So you put up with the cost, the inconvenience, 468 00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:07,037 and it's not very comfortable because it's a fast car. 469 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,348 Same with a pickup. You put up with compromises: 470 00:22:09,373 --> 00:22:11,442 the weight, the size, the fuel consumption... 471 00:22:11,492 --> 00:22:12,793 But what's the upside? 472 00:22:12,872 --> 00:22:14,552 It's a pickup truck! You can use it... 473 00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:16,059 You can put logs in it 474 00:22:16,130 --> 00:22:18,856 and tow... tow trees out of the woods with it. 475 00:22:18,895 --> 00:22:20,216 You could put a bear in it. 476 00:22:20,241 --> 00:22:23,219 Hammond, you work... you work in the media! 477 00:22:23,220 --> 00:22:25,090 The only thing you have to put in the back of a vehicle 478 00:22:25,114 --> 00:22:27,557 are invitations to gala lunches. 479 00:22:27,653 --> 00:22:28,950 - Well... - That's all you ever do. 480 00:22:28,974 --> 00:22:30,388 The problem, actually, in Britain 481 00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:32,162 with a pickup truck... I'm sorry to admit this... 482 00:22:32,163 --> 00:22:35,231 is that if you pulled up at a set of traffic lights 483 00:22:35,262 --> 00:22:36,785 and you had your cement mixer 484 00:22:36,864 --> 00:22:38,184 and your chainsaw in the back, 485 00:22:38,270 --> 00:22:40,614 they would be stolen immediately. 486 00:22:41,059 --> 00:22:42,520 Anything left in the open in Britain, 487 00:22:42,559 --> 00:22:45,161 it's like nuts at a party, you just help yourself. 488 00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:47,458 (LAUGHTER) - So why doesn't that happen here? 489 00:22:47,599 --> 00:22:49,179 Who's got a pickup truck here? 490 00:22:49,286 --> 00:22:51,599 - Holy cow! That's unbelievable. - (LAUGHTER) 491 00:22:51,802 --> 00:22:53,911 When you go shopping and put things in the back, 492 00:22:53,951 --> 00:22:56,075 why doesn't someone just help themselves? 493 00:22:56,239 --> 00:22:57,788 Because they shoot them here. 494 00:22:57,789 --> 00:22:59,013 (LAUGHTER) 495 00:22:59,114 --> 00:23:01,692 RICHARD: Well, there is that. 496 00:23:01,717 --> 00:23:06,129 There is that. Thank you, Donald! 497 00:23:06,286 --> 00:23:08,528 But why... Have you ever had anything stolen 498 00:23:08,567 --> 00:23:09,677 when you were at a red light? 499 00:23:09,701 --> 00:23:11,567 Never? Has anyone ever had anything...? 500 00:23:11,817 --> 00:23:13,269 - AUDIENCE: No. - No? 501 00:23:13,349 --> 00:23:14,528 I thought this was supposed to be 502 00:23:14,552 --> 00:23:16,497 crime-ridden in America. 503 00:23:16,607 --> 00:23:17,808 Maybe people are honest. 504 00:23:17,872 --> 00:23:18,856 I don't know, it's possible. 505 00:23:18,891 --> 00:23:20,044 If I was in Britain 506 00:23:20,097 --> 00:23:21,482 and saw a pickup truck with a lawnmower, 507 00:23:21,506 --> 00:23:22,807 "I'll have that." 508 00:23:24,215 --> 00:23:27,638 Now, yesterday we went to erm... 509 00:23:27,719 --> 00:23:29,802 It was like a big classic-car museum, 510 00:23:29,872 --> 00:23:32,552 just out of town here, where you could also buy the exhibits. 511 00:23:32,630 --> 00:23:34,880 - It's great fun. - It was a fantastic day out. 512 00:23:34,950 --> 00:23:36,036 Really enjoyed ourselves in there. 513 00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:37,334 I mean, it was full of, you know, 514 00:23:37,358 --> 00:23:39,129 Mustangs and Camaros and stuff. 515 00:23:39,130 --> 00:23:40,482 Stuff like this. We've got a picture 516 00:23:40,506 --> 00:23:42,616 of this sort of thing... '60s and '70s stuff. 517 00:23:42,748 --> 00:23:46,376 Now, we know that cars like this are horrible to drive. 518 00:23:46,401 --> 00:23:48,879 Terrible. But they're tremendous to look at. 519 00:23:48,934 --> 00:23:52,574 There was so much joy in car design back then, 520 00:23:52,609 --> 00:23:54,410 and you see it in that car there. 521 00:23:54,583 --> 00:23:56,762 It actually made us slightly sad in a way, though, 522 00:23:56,825 --> 00:23:59,114 because as we were leaving, we suddenly started wondering, 523 00:23:59,184 --> 00:24:01,309 "Well, what are they gonna put in that museum 524 00:24:01,410 --> 00:24:02,425 in 40 years' time?" 525 00:24:02,459 --> 00:24:03,400 - Yeah. - What? 526 00:24:03,425 --> 00:24:04,796 The Nissan-bloody-Juke. 527 00:24:04,882 --> 00:24:05,804 - Exactly. - (LAUGHTER) 528 00:24:05,867 --> 00:24:08,051 I don't want to look at that now. 529 00:24:08,084 --> 00:24:10,326 - No, exactly. Or the Dodge Dart. - (AUDIENCE GROANING) 530 00:24:10,426 --> 00:24:13,287 Well, what child's gonna say, "Oh, Daddy!" 531 00:24:13,334 --> 00:24:16,560 Daddy, let's go and look at the 40-year-old Dart in the museum"? 532 00:24:16,701 --> 00:24:17,912 Nobody is! 533 00:24:17,943 --> 00:24:19,248 It's true that car design 534 00:24:19,273 --> 00:24:20,536 has become so dreary lately. 535 00:24:20,637 --> 00:24:22,018 And I think part of it, 536 00:24:22,063 --> 00:24:23,987 it's almost as if the people who design cars 537 00:24:24,064 --> 00:24:25,612 don't actually like cars that much. 538 00:24:25,682 --> 00:24:27,515 Exactly. But they did then. You can tell. 539 00:24:27,546 --> 00:24:30,206 There was a Cuda in there next to a Plymouth Fury, 540 00:24:30,271 --> 00:24:33,093 and I just stood for about an hour, just soaking them in. 541 00:24:33,203 --> 00:24:35,878 I saw a 1966 Cadillac. 542 00:24:35,944 --> 00:24:37,520 We've got a picture of it here. Look. 543 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,245 Now, what I like about this 544 00:24:39,354 --> 00:24:41,183 is that the bloke who designed the bonnet, 545 00:24:41,223 --> 00:24:43,059 he... the grill. "I've finished with the bonnet." 546 00:24:43,083 --> 00:24:43,792 I'll do the grill." 547 00:24:43,817 --> 00:24:45,460 But he didn't tell the blokes doing the wings, 548 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,597 and they kept going, so it goes like another foot. 549 00:24:48,706 --> 00:24:51,167 No, but this is fantastic with a fantastic-looking car. 550 00:24:51,214 --> 00:24:53,269 The Buick Riviera, they had one of those in there. 551 00:24:53,321 --> 00:24:55,097 - Look at that! - That is glorious! 552 00:24:55,159 --> 00:24:56,172 I had one of those 553 00:24:56,222 --> 00:24:57,605 as a toy when I was little. 554 00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:59,480 If you put your finger over the back window, 555 00:24:59,543 --> 00:25:01,112 it flashed its lights. 556 00:25:01,278 --> 00:25:02,558 And you just look and you go, 557 00:25:02,611 --> 00:25:05,175 "How can Buick have gone from doing that 558 00:25:05,260 --> 00:25:07,261 "in, what, 30-40 years, to doing this, 559 00:25:07,286 --> 00:25:08,698 whatever this brown..." Look at... 560 00:25:08,855 --> 00:25:10,808 - (LAUGHTER) - How have they done that?! 561 00:25:10,941 --> 00:25:12,480 And it's the same as Chevrolet. 562 00:25:12,534 --> 00:25:14,600 There was an Impala in there, 1960. 563 00:25:14,625 --> 00:25:17,193 RICHARD: Look at that! That is exciting not moving! 564 00:25:17,230 --> 00:25:19,487 JEREMY: That's a Chevy Impala from the '60s. 565 00:25:19,558 --> 00:25:21,167 Let's have a look at one from today. 566 00:25:21,253 --> 00:25:22,901 - RICHARD: Oh, for God's sake! - (LAUGHTER) 567 00:25:22,925 --> 00:25:25,043 How do they even have the nerve to call that an Impala? 568 00:25:25,067 --> 00:25:25,935 Because it isn't one. 569 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,886 I was looking at a Corvette, 570 00:25:27,939 --> 00:25:28,987 a '70s Corvette. 571 00:25:29,038 --> 00:25:30,138 That's the C3 model, 572 00:25:30,163 --> 00:25:31,308 if you're a Corvette nerd. 573 00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:32,568 This was a car that was driven 574 00:25:32,630 --> 00:25:34,279 by all of the astronauts. 575 00:25:34,411 --> 00:25:36,847 - JAMES: Exactly. - And Dirk Diggler. 576 00:25:36,974 --> 00:25:38,114 - JAMES: Yep. - (LAUGHTER) 577 00:25:38,177 --> 00:25:39,825 Ah, so it's a car 578 00:25:39,851 --> 00:25:41,974 for porn stars and astronauts. 579 00:25:42,019 --> 00:25:44,254 - What a strapline! - What car is there today 580 00:25:44,279 --> 00:25:46,239 that could be driven by porn stars and astronauts? 581 00:25:46,310 --> 00:25:48,358 - There isn't one. MAN: An Alfa! 582 00:25:48,418 --> 00:25:50,723 An Alfa?! 583 00:25:51,044 --> 00:25:53,072 Actually, he's right! 584 00:25:53,146 --> 00:25:55,932 No, astronauts have to get there. 585 00:25:55,974 --> 00:25:57,372 He's right! That's exactly 586 00:25:57,397 --> 00:25:59,659 - what the Quadriplegio is! - No! 587 00:25:59,733 --> 00:26:02,741 This is for porn stars and astronauts, which is what I am. 588 00:26:02,843 --> 00:26:04,307 Now, I would like to have 589 00:26:04,358 --> 00:26:07,543 a conversation about the Nürburgring. 590 00:26:07,772 --> 00:26:09,092 - Go on. - Because this is important. 591 00:26:09,116 --> 00:26:10,646 Last year, I was delighted. 592 00:26:10,686 --> 00:26:12,475 The people who run the Nürburgring in Germany, 593 00:26:12,499 --> 00:26:15,285 they said they were gonna ban car manufacturers 594 00:26:15,436 --> 00:26:17,327 from setting lap records there. 595 00:26:17,405 --> 00:26:19,889 Sorry, why were you delighted about that? 596 00:26:19,943 --> 00:26:21,460 Because that's an excellent idea. 597 00:26:21,577 --> 00:26:23,968 If you make a car that is excellent 598 00:26:24,038 --> 00:26:25,537 for doing a fast lap of the Nürburgring, 599 00:26:25,561 --> 00:26:28,164 it would be useless as a car everywhere else in your life. 600 00:26:28,225 --> 00:26:30,405 It's like... It's like setting your house up 601 00:26:30,444 --> 00:26:31,483 to play Laser Quest. 602 00:26:31,508 --> 00:26:34,237 It will be brilliant for playing Laser Quest, 603 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,617 but it'll be rubbish for a dinner party 604 00:26:35,641 --> 00:26:36,804 because it's full of lasers, 605 00:26:36,881 --> 00:26:38,530 darkness, fog and music that goes... 606 00:26:38,609 --> 00:26:39,632 (BEATBOXES) 607 00:26:39,676 --> 00:26:40,554 and people running around 608 00:26:40,593 --> 00:26:41,953 thinking that they're in Star Wars. 609 00:26:42,022 --> 00:26:43,413 Or you could get a dog... 610 00:26:43,491 --> 00:26:45,405 You could train a dog as an attack dog, 611 00:26:45,407 --> 00:26:47,944 which is fantastic if you own a scrapyard 612 00:26:48,022 --> 00:26:49,358 and you need the dog to guard it, 613 00:26:49,386 --> 00:26:52,561 but take it home as a pet, it will eat your children. 614 00:26:52,616 --> 00:26:53,851 - (LAUGHTER) - It's completely useless. 615 00:26:53,875 --> 00:26:54,600 That's what happens 616 00:26:54,625 --> 00:26:56,905 when you set a car up for the Nürburgring. 617 00:26:56,940 --> 00:26:58,741 This isn't really a conversation, James. 618 00:26:58,813 --> 00:27:01,554 No, I think we've accidentally turned down Rant Lane this week. 619 00:27:01,694 --> 00:27:02,990 - (LAUGHTER) - Well, there's more. 620 00:27:03,014 --> 00:27:04,100 - He's off again. - No, no. 621 00:27:04,125 --> 00:27:06,602 But the thing is, the bad news in all this 622 00:27:06,639 --> 00:27:07,874 is that they've decided 623 00:27:07,939 --> 00:27:09,805 that they will allow car manufacturers 624 00:27:09,835 --> 00:27:11,397 to set lap records again. 625 00:27:11,422 --> 00:27:12,327 Well, that's good. 626 00:27:12,410 --> 00:27:13,577 - No, it's bad! - OK. 627 00:27:13,608 --> 00:27:15,630 Think of the cars that have come out recently 628 00:27:15,655 --> 00:27:17,044 that we've driven that have been developed 629 00:27:17,068 --> 00:27:18,877 so that they would go fast around the Nürburgring. 630 00:27:18,901 --> 00:27:20,802 BMW M4 GTS, 631 00:27:20,874 --> 00:27:22,908 you can't deny it, it's a terrible car. 632 00:27:22,963 --> 00:27:24,964 Nissan GT-R, the Track Edition, 633 00:27:24,989 --> 00:27:26,522 that is a terrible car. 634 00:27:26,577 --> 00:27:29,874 Even SEAT... the SEAT Leon Cupra 280, 635 00:27:29,968 --> 00:27:32,462 that's got a hatchback record for going around the Nürburgring, 636 00:27:32,514 --> 00:27:33,530 and it's rubbish! 637 00:27:33,591 --> 00:27:35,843 The Nürburgring ruins cars. 638 00:27:35,905 --> 00:27:37,616 I'm developing an app for the smart phone 639 00:27:37,679 --> 00:27:39,002 called Bomb The Nürburgring 640 00:27:39,027 --> 00:27:40,894 where you guide a Dornier 17 over it 641 00:27:41,007 --> 00:27:42,448 and blow it up. 642 00:27:42,538 --> 00:27:44,413 What are you doing on this programme? 643 00:27:44,438 --> 00:27:45,694 - Talking sense! - (LAUGHTER) 644 00:27:45,756 --> 00:27:47,557 RICHARD: Good question. I don't know. 645 00:27:47,644 --> 00:27:50,513 We have this old woman who has a baking show in Britain. 646 00:27:50,552 --> 00:27:51,826 She's called Mary Berry. 647 00:27:51,912 --> 00:27:53,873 It would be... You probably know her. 648 00:27:53,966 --> 00:27:55,107 It's probably the same 649 00:27:55,162 --> 00:27:57,187 as her saying, "I hate cakes!" 650 00:27:57,208 --> 00:27:58,162 - Yes. - (LAUGHTER) 651 00:27:58,206 --> 00:27:59,552 Mary Berry would agree with me, 652 00:27:59,606 --> 00:28:01,200 because if she made a cake 653 00:28:01,232 --> 00:28:02,993 that had been developed on the Nürburgring, 654 00:28:03,029 --> 00:28:05,662 someone would put fried onions on the top 655 00:28:05,708 --> 00:28:07,724 and completely ruin it. You'd have a Victoria sponge 656 00:28:07,748 --> 00:28:10,100 with onion on the top for no reason! 657 00:28:10,201 --> 00:28:11,677 James, you know you're weird, don't you? 658 00:28:11,701 --> 00:28:13,857 That's not weird. That's the most sensible thing 659 00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,224 that's ever been said on this show. 660 00:28:15,248 --> 00:28:16,833 - You are weird. - I'm not weird. 661 00:28:16,943 --> 00:28:18,880 He is weird! We were coming through the airport 662 00:28:18,963 --> 00:28:20,693 here the other day, coming through Chicago, 663 00:28:20,771 --> 00:28:22,849 and he went, "Jeremy, smell my jacket." 664 00:28:22,896 --> 00:28:24,029 - He said what?! - (LAUGHTER) 665 00:28:24,099 --> 00:28:25,169 - Yeah. - He did. 666 00:28:25,224 --> 00:28:26,882 He said, "Smell my jacket." I said, "Why?" 667 00:28:26,904 --> 00:28:29,352 He said, "Because it smells of old record players." 668 00:28:29,412 --> 00:28:32,201 - Mate, that is weird. - But it did! 669 00:28:32,466 --> 00:28:34,474 You know record players don't smell of anything? 670 00:28:34,591 --> 00:28:36,002 They do. Old ones do. 671 00:28:36,027 --> 00:28:37,396 They smell of old record players. 672 00:28:37,474 --> 00:28:39,129 Who knows what they smell like? 673 00:28:39,201 --> 00:28:40,662 - I'd like us... - The decaying... 674 00:28:40,697 --> 00:28:42,032 I'd like us to move it on 675 00:28:42,037 --> 00:28:43,662 because it's getting scary now. 676 00:28:43,716 --> 00:28:45,099 That's not the record player! 677 00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:46,716 We'll have another... What are you on about? 678 00:28:46,740 --> 00:28:48,260 Does anybody have an old record player, 679 00:28:48,294 --> 00:28:49,356 or anything old electrical? 680 00:28:49,380 --> 00:28:50,404 They smell, don't they? 681 00:28:50,429 --> 00:28:52,419 Has anybody ever smelled an old record player? 682 00:28:52,451 --> 00:28:54,232 Really? You think you have? 683 00:28:54,443 --> 00:28:56,079 You've smelled an old... 684 00:28:56,169 --> 00:28:58,146 God, strewth! 685 00:28:59,755 --> 00:29:02,615 Did it have a wax cylinder on it, your old record player? 686 00:29:02,716 --> 00:29:05,419 They smell like old plastic and warm rubber. 687 00:29:05,591 --> 00:29:06,661 JAMES: Yeah, exactly. 688 00:29:06,724 --> 00:29:09,460 That smells like a party at James's house. special... is that.. 689 00:29:11,154 --> 00:29:13,716 You're actually talking to Thomas Edison there. 690 00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:17,700 RICHARD: In person. 691 00:29:17,818 --> 00:29:19,102 Well done, sir. 692 00:29:19,294 --> 00:29:20,578 Now, as we're told 693 00:29:20,633 --> 00:29:23,466 almost every day these days, really, 694 00:29:23,521 --> 00:29:26,576 the world's coral reefs are all dying. 695 00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:29,591 And we're told that this is the fault of the car. 696 00:29:29,646 --> 00:29:31,849 Well, since we host a car show, 697 00:29:31,919 --> 00:29:34,460 we thought it would be our duty and responsibility 698 00:29:34,591 --> 00:29:36,396 to do something about it. 699 00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:47,706 Here in the Caribbean, all appears to be well. 700 00:29:47,831 --> 00:29:49,765 But under the shimmering blue sea, 701 00:29:49,862 --> 00:29:53,307 there's just miles and miles of sand. 702 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,589 It's an underwater desert. 703 00:29:58,175 --> 00:30:00,050 And even when you do find a reef, 704 00:30:00,159 --> 00:30:03,104 most of the coral is dead or dying. 705 00:30:07,143 --> 00:30:08,451 Thirty-eight years ago, 706 00:30:08,511 --> 00:30:10,386 the local government sank a ship 707 00:30:10,425 --> 00:30:13,448 to encourage the coral to come back. 708 00:30:14,225 --> 00:30:16,003 And it's working. 709 00:30:16,227 --> 00:30:19,249 It's already an oasis of life. 710 00:30:21,165 --> 00:30:24,202 And that gave us an idea. 711 00:30:24,959 --> 00:30:28,115 Why use a ship as the hub or your coral reef? 712 00:30:28,171 --> 00:30:30,976 Why not use cars? There are millions of them. 713 00:30:31,171 --> 00:30:33,585 So that's exactly what we've done. We've got five cars. 714 00:30:33,671 --> 00:30:35,445 And rather than go through all the expense 715 00:30:35,470 --> 00:30:37,347 and complication of recycling them, 716 00:30:37,452 --> 00:30:39,366 we've stripped them, taken the engines out, 717 00:30:39,476 --> 00:30:41,905 removed the paint, and they're ready to go in the sea. 718 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,874 JAMES: This really does make perfect sense, 719 00:30:43,944 --> 00:30:45,811 because when the car is in the water, 720 00:30:45,905 --> 00:30:46,921 it will start to corrode, 721 00:30:46,999 --> 00:30:48,217 and that attracts all the things 722 00:30:48,241 --> 00:30:49,796 that help the coral grow. 723 00:30:49,905 --> 00:30:51,861 And then the car itself just rusts away 724 00:30:51,944 --> 00:30:53,363 to absolutely nothing. 725 00:30:53,436 --> 00:30:55,046 So this one, which started life 726 00:30:55,124 --> 00:30:56,397 as a pretty horrible Peugeot 727 00:30:56,444 --> 00:30:57,780 and was always a terrible car, 728 00:30:57,897 --> 00:31:01,046 will eventually become a beautiful coral reef. 729 00:31:01,202 --> 00:31:03,296 And all this happens quite quickly. 730 00:31:03,382 --> 00:31:04,616 So in just a few years' time, 731 00:31:04,694 --> 00:31:07,343 the BBC will be able to make a wildlife documentary 732 00:31:07,444 --> 00:31:08,978 just in this wheel arch. 733 00:31:09,003 --> 00:31:10,335 Anyway, we've got the cars. 734 00:31:10,468 --> 00:31:11,468 I've got a crane. 735 00:31:11,538 --> 00:31:12,835 All we need now is a boat, 736 00:31:12,921 --> 00:31:14,577 which is a job we gave to Jeremy. 737 00:31:14,647 --> 00:31:16,007 That's his responsibility. 738 00:31:16,132 --> 00:31:17,538 He'll have overdone it, won't he? 739 00:31:17,563 --> 00:31:19,258 Well, he'll have made a statement of some sort, so... 740 00:31:19,282 --> 00:31:22,725 Freight ship. Full-on freight ship. 741 00:31:22,773 --> 00:31:24,242 Or a tanker. 742 00:31:27,398 --> 00:31:30,590 (HORN BLARES) 743 00:31:30,614 --> 00:31:34,887 ♪♪ 744 00:31:34,971 --> 00:31:36,639 Oh. He hasn't overdone it. 745 00:31:36,811 --> 00:31:38,746 Is that him? 746 00:31:40,090 --> 00:31:42,301 What is the point of that? 747 00:31:42,574 --> 00:31:44,515 Will you come and tie it up? 748 00:31:49,262 --> 00:31:52,129 JAMES: That's the worst boat I've ever seen. That's awful! 749 00:31:52,309 --> 00:31:54,340 - What's the matter with it? - Well, it... 750 00:31:54,513 --> 00:31:57,473 We gave you $5,000 to buy a boat. 751 00:31:57,559 --> 00:31:59,121 Boats are expensive! 752 00:31:59,228 --> 00:32:01,129 You didn't spend all five grand on this. 753 00:32:01,232 --> 00:32:02,898 - That is not a five thou... - Yes! 754 00:32:02,957 --> 00:32:04,551 I've got toothache. Be kind. 755 00:32:04,621 --> 00:32:07,215 Irrelevant. That is not a $5,000 boat. 756 00:32:07,301 --> 00:32:09,038 - It is! - It's barely a boat. Look at it! 757 00:32:09,081 --> 00:32:11,426 It's brilliant! You'll get a car on this. 758 00:32:11,598 --> 00:32:13,762 - Er... Where? - On the back! 759 00:32:13,863 --> 00:32:15,645 - Who did you buy it from? - A man. 760 00:32:15,646 --> 00:32:17,848 - Was he laughing? - No, he wasn't. 761 00:32:17,957 --> 00:32:19,856 - Can I come aboard? - No. 762 00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:21,220 I don't think it can take two. 763 00:32:21,246 --> 00:32:23,519 (LAUGHS) Look! It's terrible! 764 00:32:24,009 --> 00:32:25,470 Instead of just standing there, 765 00:32:25,502 --> 00:32:27,697 criticising a man who's got toothache, 766 00:32:27,963 --> 00:32:31,294 why don't you go and get a car on the crane 767 00:32:31,365 --> 00:32:33,517 and start loading it? 768 00:32:34,831 --> 00:32:39,306 Soon, our first car was ready to be lifted onto the boat. 769 00:32:40,197 --> 00:32:42,348 It's just nice to be putting something back, really. 770 00:32:42,494 --> 00:32:44,439 It genuinely is. It's a little old Corsa, 771 00:32:44,619 --> 00:32:46,080 and it's gonna be full of coral. 772 00:32:46,197 --> 00:32:47,767 Mr Coral coming, swimming along. 773 00:32:47,845 --> 00:32:49,095 "Ooh, there's something to latch on to." 774 00:32:49,119 --> 00:32:50,299 Then his friend comes along. 775 00:32:50,377 --> 00:32:51,595 His friend comes along. 776 00:32:51,767 --> 00:32:53,127 This is a genuinely brilliant idea. 777 00:32:53,166 --> 00:32:55,117 That doesn't fill me with... 778 00:32:55,283 --> 00:32:56,352 total confidence. 779 00:32:56,431 --> 00:32:58,189 (WHIRRING) 780 00:33:03,174 --> 00:33:04,924 JEREMY: Down a bit! Down! 781 00:33:05,161 --> 00:33:06,916 You'll have to... 782 00:33:07,130 --> 00:33:08,631 Boom out! 783 00:33:08,799 --> 00:33:10,338 Is that the sign for "boom out"? 784 00:33:10,392 --> 00:33:13,111 JEREMY: That. Yeah, that. 785 00:33:13,299 --> 00:33:15,564 It's like being guided by The Village People. 786 00:33:15,759 --> 00:33:17,106 It's working now. Unless... 787 00:33:17,158 --> 00:33:19,318 On! On! 788 00:33:19,392 --> 00:33:21,444 - The next danger... - You're really helping. 789 00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:23,347 - I've got the guideline. - Right, go! 790 00:33:23,371 --> 00:33:26,902 ♪♪ 791 00:33:26,949 --> 00:33:29,972 ♪♪ 792 00:33:30,020 --> 00:33:33,064 - JEREMY: Down a bit, James. - Watch for the wind. 793 00:33:33,176 --> 00:33:34,692 Hammond, can you swing it around? 794 00:33:34,717 --> 00:33:35,551 Do you want me to swing it? 795 00:33:35,576 --> 00:33:36,911 Yeah, try and get it... 796 00:33:37,328 --> 00:33:38,901 Oh, shit! 797 00:33:40,531 --> 00:33:42,164 JAMES: Who pulled that? 798 00:33:42,432 --> 00:33:45,701 We've got to save the car! It's a reef! Save it! 799 00:33:45,768 --> 00:33:47,570 Oh, it's gone! It's gone! 800 00:33:47,686 --> 00:33:48,912 JAMES: Who pulled the... 801 00:33:48,996 --> 00:33:51,209 That's to release it, you Muppet! 802 00:33:51,342 --> 00:33:52,990 Well, I thought it was a guide rope. 803 00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:56,490 No, I steer it! You just release it when it's on there! 804 00:33:56,529 --> 00:33:58,420 He told me to steer it without load. 805 00:33:58,506 --> 00:33:59,810 He said, "Pull the rope to steer it." 806 00:33:59,834 --> 00:34:01,764 This is a £400,000 crane! 807 00:34:01,857 --> 00:34:03,692 Why would you steer it with a piece of string?! 808 00:34:03,716 --> 00:34:05,076 It's got all these knobs and buttons. 809 00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:08,391 I steer it, you release it! 810 00:34:08,756 --> 00:34:10,295 So that's a quick release? 811 00:34:10,361 --> 00:34:11,858 - Yes! - Got it. 812 00:34:14,983 --> 00:34:18,100 What if we just said we only had four cars? 813 00:34:18,226 --> 00:34:20,570 So we've taken four cars, removed the engines 814 00:34:20,710 --> 00:34:22,733 and the paint, and they're ready to go in the sea. 815 00:34:22,827 --> 00:34:25,575 - We'll do that piece to camera again. - Yeah, yeah. 816 00:34:25,694 --> 00:34:28,538 The thing is, why use a ship as the hub of your reef? 817 00:34:28,624 --> 00:34:30,554 Why not use cars? There are millions. 818 00:34:30,679 --> 00:34:33,835 So we've taken four cars, removed the engines, 819 00:34:33,921 --> 00:34:37,453 stripped them down and they're ready to go in the sea. 820 00:34:37,624 --> 00:34:39,221 (MUTTERS) And then James... Oh, yeah. 821 00:34:39,222 --> 00:34:40,577 And then... And then, 822 00:34:40,687 --> 00:34:42,991 this Peugeot was no good as a car, 823 00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:46,396 but will be... but the coral will just stick to it, 824 00:34:46,460 --> 00:34:48,063 oxidising and algae. 825 00:34:48,147 --> 00:34:49,491 Doesn't take very long. 826 00:34:49,569 --> 00:34:52,405 One day, BBC documentary, wheel arch. 827 00:34:52,499 --> 00:34:54,499 Yeah, from just four cars. That's all we had. 828 00:34:54,616 --> 00:34:56,572 Four cars. That's all you need for a reef. 829 00:34:56,663 --> 00:34:58,351 Right, here's the boat we've selected. 830 00:34:58,393 --> 00:34:59,695 It's a little bit damaged. 831 00:35:01,663 --> 00:35:03,312 With the release rope stowed, 832 00:35:03,429 --> 00:35:06,030 we managed to get the first of our four cars 833 00:35:06,171 --> 00:35:10,124 onto the boat, which had come with a broken roof. 834 00:35:11,216 --> 00:35:13,217 - Yeah. Oh, yes! - (LAUGHS) 835 00:35:13,289 --> 00:35:15,405 - Yes! - Yeah! 836 00:35:15,559 --> 00:35:18,193 Good! Result. 837 00:35:18,351 --> 00:35:21,608 And then we had to secure it in place. 838 00:35:23,476 --> 00:35:25,851 I don't understand ratchet straps. 839 00:35:25,952 --> 00:35:29,046 Er... There's water coming into the boat. 840 00:35:29,072 --> 00:35:32,265 - No, there was some in when I bought it. - It's leaking. 841 00:35:32,437 --> 00:35:34,741 There's always a bit of water in the bilges. 842 00:35:34,827 --> 00:35:36,874 It's why boats have bilge pumps. 843 00:35:36,976 --> 00:35:38,714 No, it's coming in. 844 00:35:38,937 --> 00:35:41,702 It's not just like it's in, it's coming in. 845 00:35:41,874 --> 00:35:43,827 - Well, there's none here. - There's holes! It's leaking! 846 00:35:43,851 --> 00:35:47,569 Oh, shit! No, there is! Well, attach us to the crane. 847 00:35:47,624 --> 00:35:49,459 RICHARD: Er... It's gone down. 848 00:35:49,530 --> 00:35:51,491 It has gone... It is going down. 849 00:35:51,562 --> 00:35:53,171 JEREMY: If you attach us to the crane, 850 00:35:53,272 --> 00:35:54,564 it won't sink, will it? 851 00:35:54,655 --> 00:35:55,991 RICHARD: We're tied on. 852 00:35:56,069 --> 00:35:58,843 JEREMY: James, can you just take the slack? 853 00:35:58,902 --> 00:35:59,870 (CRANE WHIRRING) 854 00:35:59,905 --> 00:36:01,737 Sadly, James misunderstood 855 00:36:01,796 --> 00:36:03,205 this simple instruction. 856 00:36:03,304 --> 00:36:05,116 - (CLATTERING) - Oh, the whole thing 857 00:36:05,208 --> 00:36:06,476 has collapsed at the back! 858 00:36:06,477 --> 00:36:07,810 Oh, dear God! 859 00:36:07,944 --> 00:36:09,712 JEREMY: Wait! Stop! Whoa! Whoa! What? 860 00:36:09,796 --> 00:36:10,991 RICHARD: It's falling over! 861 00:36:11,101 --> 00:36:12,733 JEREMY: James, it's falling! 862 00:36:12,783 --> 00:36:14,272 - What do you want? - Holy Mother of God! 863 00:36:14,296 --> 00:36:17,772 It's going down! Abandon ship! Save yourself! 864 00:36:21,453 --> 00:36:22,986 Catch it, James! 865 00:36:23,026 --> 00:36:24,640 JEREMY: Save it! 866 00:36:24,795 --> 00:36:25,897 Stop! 867 00:36:26,007 --> 00:36:27,858 What are you doing? 868 00:36:27,998 --> 00:36:29,601 JEREMY: Oh, God. 869 00:36:29,766 --> 00:36:31,749 The French Secret Service 870 00:36:31,868 --> 00:36:35,397 didn't do a job as good as this. 871 00:36:35,506 --> 00:36:37,139 RICHARD: I'm not talking to any of you. 872 00:36:37,226 --> 00:36:39,015 No. Come on, it was May's fault. 873 00:36:39,075 --> 00:36:40,510 You bought a crap boat, 874 00:36:40,554 --> 00:36:42,488 you put an idiot spaniel on the crane, 875 00:36:42,513 --> 00:36:44,514 and, also, think what we were gonna do 876 00:36:44,546 --> 00:36:45,881 for the conception of the car. 877 00:36:45,968 --> 00:36:47,522 People would love the car. They would see it 878 00:36:47,546 --> 00:36:50,720 as a friendly, coral-loving thing. 879 00:36:50,976 --> 00:36:52,327 You're swimming like an old woman. 880 00:36:52,366 --> 00:36:54,749 I don't like being in the bloody water! 881 00:36:54,825 --> 00:36:59,663 Fact! I'm not comfortable! I'm from Birmingham! 882 00:36:59,796 --> 00:37:02,031 Having sunk a boat and two cars 883 00:37:02,101 --> 00:37:04,133 where the cruise liners normally park, 884 00:37:04,218 --> 00:37:09,077 the port authorities suggested we go away. 885 00:37:09,319 --> 00:37:11,507 So we took our three remaining cars 886 00:37:11,593 --> 00:37:13,060 to a nearby marina, 887 00:37:13,273 --> 00:37:14,774 built ourselves a raft, 888 00:37:14,897 --> 00:37:16,093 and hired a boat 889 00:37:16,157 --> 00:37:18,429 which had a crane on the front. 890 00:37:22,569 --> 00:37:23,921 - JEREMY: May! - What? 891 00:37:23,999 --> 00:37:26,124 You're not operating the crane. 892 00:37:26,272 --> 00:37:28,507 You are operating the crane. 893 00:37:28,592 --> 00:37:29,592 RICHARD: Yeah. 894 00:37:29,626 --> 00:37:30,780 I'd just like to point out 895 00:37:30,827 --> 00:37:32,132 that I've been fired from a job 896 00:37:32,186 --> 00:37:33,549 that I was doing perfectly. 897 00:37:33,671 --> 00:37:35,765 - (THUD) - Meant that. 898 00:37:35,790 --> 00:37:38,194 I can't get the crane working. Is there a switch? 899 00:37:38,224 --> 00:37:40,195 Oh! Don't come to me for help. I'm rubbish at cranes. 900 00:37:40,219 --> 00:37:43,210 I didn't, did I? Did I? 901 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,655 Soon, we were ready to load our first car. 902 00:37:48,278 --> 00:37:49,344 You're miles away! 903 00:37:49,405 --> 00:37:50,445 You've got to be spot-on. 904 00:37:50,507 --> 00:37:51,914 I can only lift it to there. 905 00:37:51,991 --> 00:37:53,851 This way, this way, this way, this way. 906 00:37:54,016 --> 00:37:55,726 No, up, up, up. 907 00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:58,507 I can't... Jeremy, you'll have to go back. 908 00:37:58,577 --> 00:38:00,890 I can't do it if you keep moving the boat! 909 00:38:00,937 --> 00:38:03,425 If I want to go backwards, I should go that way. 910 00:38:03,569 --> 00:38:04,914 JAMES: Right, this way. You've got to... 911 00:38:04,938 --> 00:38:05,984 - I can't move it... - RICHARD: I can't go 912 00:38:06,008 --> 00:38:07,177 that way! He's driving! 913 00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:08,757 I can't move it! 914 00:38:08,865 --> 00:38:11,155 Why don't we pick it... Oh, God. 915 00:38:13,312 --> 00:38:14,921 RICHARD: Where are we going?! 916 00:38:14,983 --> 00:38:17,937 It-Its the bad things... It's the wind! 917 00:38:18,124 --> 00:38:19,733 RICHARD: Why are we over here? 918 00:38:19,843 --> 00:38:20,943 JEREMY: Wind! 919 00:38:21,022 --> 00:38:23,640 RICHARD: Here he comes! This is it! This is it! 920 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,715 We're coming in hot! 921 00:38:25,873 --> 00:38:27,544 - Stop... chasing me... - May, will you do some... 922 00:38:27,568 --> 00:38:29,373 - with the bloody crane! - thing quickly in your life? 923 00:38:29,397 --> 00:38:31,115 I'm going to kill him! 924 00:38:31,482 --> 00:38:33,967 Here we go! Yes! Run away! Run away! 925 00:38:34,024 --> 00:38:34,912 (CHEERING) 926 00:38:34,959 --> 00:38:37,193 JEREMY: We have hooked the apple! 927 00:38:39,201 --> 00:38:41,041 JAMES: In a bit, in a bit. JEREMY: We are good. 928 00:38:41,107 --> 00:38:43,740 We are so good, it's almost incredible. 929 00:38:43,764 --> 00:38:45,701 ♪♪ 930 00:38:45,702 --> 00:38:47,654 Now we had our eye in... 931 00:38:49,706 --> 00:38:51,537 - (THUD) - Oh, Jesus. 932 00:38:51,675 --> 00:38:55,945 Loading the second car was the work of a moment. 933 00:38:55,946 --> 00:38:58,014 JAMES: We're on. RICHARD: Oh, my God! Yes. 934 00:38:59,515 --> 00:39:01,817 JAMES: That's it. That'll do. 935 00:39:01,868 --> 00:39:05,040 This is the manliest thing I've ever done. 936 00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:08,290 RICHARD: I'm just gonna rest my big balls on my crane. 937 00:39:08,518 --> 00:39:10,453 - (GRUNTS) - (JEREMY LAUGHS) 938 00:39:14,235 --> 00:39:15,671 With our raft full, 939 00:39:15,711 --> 00:39:17,111 we headed out to the spot 940 00:39:17,143 --> 00:39:19,485 identified by marine biologists 941 00:39:19,555 --> 00:39:23,329 as having the perfect depth, current and temperature 942 00:39:23,439 --> 00:39:25,360 for a reef to form. 943 00:39:26,511 --> 00:39:28,046 Release the reef! 944 00:39:28,078 --> 00:39:30,379 RICHARD: Yes! JEREMY: There it goes! 945 00:39:30,462 --> 00:39:32,571 - The reef is born! - RICHARD: That's our reef! 946 00:39:32,683 --> 00:39:35,009 - Sink! - Come, coral! Come! 947 00:39:35,196 --> 00:39:38,415 Yeah! 948 00:39:38,571 --> 00:39:40,673 JEREMY: Go! RICHARD: Yes! 949 00:39:40,791 --> 00:39:43,509 JEREMY: Oh, I'm pleased with that! 950 00:39:43,694 --> 00:39:45,861 The Peugeot 206. 951 00:39:45,955 --> 00:39:47,290 That is brilliant. 952 00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:51,485 Next, we had to anchor the cars in place, 953 00:39:51,610 --> 00:39:55,813 which was a job for the only qualified diver among us. 954 00:39:55,939 --> 00:39:58,259 He'd even brought his own equipment. 955 00:39:59,819 --> 00:40:01,579 Right. Back a bit. 956 00:40:01,611 --> 00:40:02,720 Back... That's on my nose. 957 00:40:02,779 --> 00:40:04,279 JEREMY: Stop moaning! 958 00:40:04,350 --> 00:40:05,579 Ow! 959 00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:18,759 If he were a heart surgeon, 960 00:40:18,891 --> 00:40:20,634 he would turn up with an old leather bag 961 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,431 with a saw and hammer in it, wouldn't he? 962 00:40:22,463 --> 00:40:24,290 "I'm ready to do your operation. Here I am." 963 00:40:24,315 --> 00:40:26,783 (MUFFLED YELLS) 964 00:40:27,003 --> 00:40:28,470 (GROANS) 965 00:40:28,638 --> 00:40:31,595 It's like his old table with his Bakelite telephone on it. 966 00:40:31,809 --> 00:40:34,412 - Yes. - "Hello. Hammersmith 37 here." 967 00:40:35,812 --> 00:40:37,610 James's suit was so old, 968 00:40:37,735 --> 00:40:40,649 it didn't come with air tanks, so, annoyingly, 969 00:40:40,735 --> 00:40:43,805 it was our responsibility to keep him alive. 970 00:40:45,856 --> 00:40:47,891 How long have we got to do this for? 971 00:40:48,251 --> 00:40:50,353 Well, for as long as he's done there. 972 00:40:50,674 --> 00:40:53,665 - Honestly, I'm exhausted. - I'm getting dizzy. 973 00:40:54,470 --> 00:40:56,104 We should keep going. 974 00:40:56,199 --> 00:40:58,149 No. Look, there's a generator. 975 00:40:58,268 --> 00:41:00,335 Why don't we just connect it to the generator? 976 00:41:00,531 --> 00:41:02,167 (AIR HISSING) 977 00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:08,510 Now. Now. 978 00:41:08,565 --> 00:41:10,266 - Yeah. - You're an idiot. 979 00:41:10,346 --> 00:41:12,849 (GROANING) 980 00:41:15,762 --> 00:41:18,265 - (HISSING) - RICHARD: Life-saving air. 981 00:41:18,474 --> 00:41:20,546 - (GENERATOR STARTS) - Oh, there we go. 982 00:41:21,205 --> 00:41:23,444 On. And relax. 983 00:41:37,317 --> 00:41:39,386 (CRIES OUT) 984 00:41:41,469 --> 00:41:42,889 Nearly! 985 00:42:00,964 --> 00:42:02,768 (GENERATOR CHUGGING) 986 00:42:10,740 --> 00:42:12,888 Come in, James. 987 00:42:13,076 --> 00:42:15,896 When our colleague finally surfaced... 988 00:42:16,146 --> 00:42:18,148 he was very angry. 989 00:42:19,429 --> 00:42:21,730 That was nowhere near the cars. Nowhere near. 990 00:42:21,802 --> 00:42:23,637 What was nowhere near the cars? 991 00:42:23,748 --> 00:42:26,228 You might as well have dropped me off the coast of Los Angeles! 992 00:42:26,295 --> 00:42:28,849 - I couldn't even see them! - Just stop. Stop. 993 00:42:28,892 --> 00:42:30,497 What do you... What do you mean? 994 00:42:30,638 --> 00:42:32,419 How did you manage... You're the boat expert, 995 00:42:32,474 --> 00:42:33,559 as you're forever telling us. 996 00:42:33,583 --> 00:42:35,330 How did you manage to put the cars there 997 00:42:35,427 --> 00:42:38,185 and then move the boat about 100 yards away? 998 00:42:38,287 --> 00:42:39,311 - We drifted. - We drifted a bit. 999 00:42:39,335 --> 00:42:41,865 - Have you done the job? - No. 1000 00:42:42,037 --> 00:42:44,099 - What? - The cars are not anchored. 1001 00:42:44,153 --> 00:42:45,466 Because when I got there, 1002 00:42:45,567 --> 00:42:48,686 your drifting, stupid, orange biscuit-tin boat 1003 00:42:48,724 --> 00:42:50,146 yanked me back off it! 1004 00:42:50,255 --> 00:42:51,708 We don't have an afternoon 1005 00:42:51,787 --> 00:42:53,283 to just throw away while you go paddling. 1006 00:42:53,307 --> 00:42:56,076 You're saying... I'm gonna have to do it, aren't I? 1007 00:42:56,100 --> 00:42:57,887 ♪♪ 1008 00:42:57,888 --> 00:43:01,992 RICHARD: Soon, James Bond was ready to go in the water. 1009 00:43:02,016 --> 00:43:04,016 ♪♪ 1010 00:43:04,060 --> 00:43:05,983 - Do I look like Roger Moore? - Yeah, you do. 1011 00:43:06,049 --> 00:43:08,918 - You do, yeah. Yeah. - Roger Moore, the greengrocer. 1012 00:43:09,194 --> 00:43:12,601 - Let go. Yes! - Yay! 1013 00:43:12,913 --> 00:43:15,725 RICHARD: I've just handed Jeremy a welding iron. 1014 00:43:15,795 --> 00:43:17,631 Oh, dear God. 1015 00:43:21,978 --> 00:43:25,170 I'm not sure I trust Jeremy to do welding. 1016 00:43:25,467 --> 00:43:27,124 I wouldn't trust Jeremy 1017 00:43:27,217 --> 00:43:30,389 to watch a YouTube guide to welding. 1018 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,655 RICHARD: Oh! JAMES: What's that? 1019 00:43:33,772 --> 00:43:36,158 RICHARD: That's gone wrong. JAMES: Jeremy? 1020 00:43:36,268 --> 00:43:38,678 RICHARD: Badly, horribly wrong. 1021 00:43:44,334 --> 00:43:46,343 JAMES: Ah! 1022 00:43:46,585 --> 00:43:48,593 - How did that go? - Very well. 1023 00:43:48,780 --> 00:43:50,069 - Did it? - Oh, yeah. 1024 00:43:50,155 --> 00:43:51,139 - Did it? - Yeah. 1025 00:43:51,171 --> 00:43:52,155 That was all... 1026 00:43:52,180 --> 00:43:54,686 They are not going anywhere in a hurry. 1027 00:43:54,710 --> 00:43:58,647 ♪♪ 1028 00:43:58,757 --> 00:44:01,550 JEREMY: We headed back to shore for an agreeable dinner, 1029 00:44:01,655 --> 00:44:04,554 happy that our important environmental work 1030 00:44:04,671 --> 00:44:07,241 was, at last, going well. 1031 00:44:08,663 --> 00:44:11,319 ♪♪ 1032 00:44:11,427 --> 00:44:15,077 But are the coral starting now? 1033 00:44:15,413 --> 00:44:17,030 - Yeah. - So they're down there now. 1034 00:44:17,085 --> 00:44:20,319 - A bit of coral's gonna... - Yeah, it will have done. 1035 00:44:20,475 --> 00:44:21,718 It's not a big coral reef, 1036 00:44:21,796 --> 00:44:23,593 but it's the start of a coral reef. 1037 00:44:23,639 --> 00:44:25,654 Well done, chaps. We have done... 1038 00:44:25,679 --> 00:44:27,155 I don't clink glasses, as you know, 1039 00:44:27,186 --> 00:44:29,741 but we can raise a glass to our success today. 1040 00:44:29,827 --> 00:44:31,389 Yes. Well done, us. 1041 00:44:33,349 --> 00:44:34,449 (CHEERING) 1042 00:44:34,450 --> 00:44:36,418 Maybe that's what Volkswagen were doing... 1043 00:44:36,419 --> 00:44:37,486 building a reef. 1044 00:44:37,487 --> 00:44:39,654 That could be it. That could be it. 1045 00:44:39,868 --> 00:44:43,458 We're gonna pick up our important marine biology work later on. 1046 00:44:43,548 --> 00:44:47,548 But now it's time to play Celebrity Brain Crash! 1047 00:44:47,663 --> 00:44:49,599 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1048 00:44:49,692 --> 00:44:53,118 ♪♪ 1049 00:44:54,930 --> 00:44:56,454 That doesn't get any better. 1050 00:44:56,602 --> 00:44:58,406 That really doesn't get any better, that sting. 1051 00:44:58,430 --> 00:45:01,688 But anyway, my guest tonight is from... 1052 00:45:01,735 --> 00:45:03,422 Well, how can I describe it, really? 1053 00:45:03,501 --> 00:45:04,782 The second biggest 1054 00:45:04,837 --> 00:45:06,448 and most important part of the world, 1055 00:45:06,508 --> 00:45:09,860 as far as music is concerned: the Northeast of England. 1056 00:45:09,885 --> 00:45:11,451 - Oh, come on! - (LAUGHTER) 1057 00:45:11,524 --> 00:45:12,790 Well, hello?! 1058 00:45:12,852 --> 00:45:14,652 Mark Knopfler, Paul Rodgers, 1059 00:45:14,985 --> 00:45:17,792 Gordon Sting, a couple of people out of Little Mix. 1060 00:45:17,829 --> 00:45:20,562 - Lindisfarne. Mm, lovely. - Yes, Lindisfarne. We'll gloss over that. 1061 00:45:20,610 --> 00:45:23,110 But then we've also got... (CLEARS THROAT) ...the main man. 1062 00:45:23,235 --> 00:45:26,969 The man we have lined up for you, he is the lead singer 1063 00:45:27,037 --> 00:45:29,774 of the biggest Rock Band in the world, AC/DC. 1064 00:45:29,946 --> 00:45:32,507 Ladies and gentlemen, Brian Johnson! 1065 00:45:32,626 --> 00:45:34,469 (CHEERING) 1066 00:45:34,555 --> 00:45:35,913 - There he is! - RICHARD: There he is! 1067 00:45:35,937 --> 00:45:37,375 There he is! Here he comes! 1068 00:45:37,446 --> 00:45:40,188 What are we gonna talk to him about? 1069 00:45:40,250 --> 00:45:42,626 - Well, he's taken up motor racing. - Yeah. 1070 00:45:42,766 --> 00:45:44,876 - He's got a new TV show. - Yes, on the road. 1071 00:45:44,901 --> 00:45:45,856 JEREMY: He's on the road. 1072 00:45:45,881 --> 00:45:48,141 JAMES: I'm gonna talk to him about being at the front 1073 00:45:48,212 --> 00:45:50,059 of the world's biggest Rock Band. 1074 00:45:50,126 --> 00:45:52,016 - Where is he? - He's Brian Johnson. 1075 00:45:52,086 --> 00:45:53,758 - Here he comes! - Oh, there he is! 1076 00:45:53,829 --> 00:45:56,587 - There he is. - The man himself. What a legend! 1077 00:45:56,688 --> 00:45:59,165 I can't... I've always wanted to meet him. I'm thrilled. 1078 00:45:59,211 --> 00:46:01,184 - Yeah. - That is a legend. Proper... 1079 00:46:01,270 --> 00:46:02,692 - Oh, hello. - Oh, hello. 1080 00:46:02,785 --> 00:46:03,872 - What? - Oh, my... 1081 00:46:03,934 --> 00:46:05,543 (LAUGHTER) 1082 00:46:05,675 --> 00:46:06,975 Oh, God! 1083 00:46:07,113 --> 00:46:09,512 (APPLAUSE) 1084 00:46:09,652 --> 00:46:12,457 - (MUMBLES) We killed him. - We've killed Brian Johnson. 1085 00:46:12,608 --> 00:46:14,324 That's... 1086 00:46:14,910 --> 00:46:16,668 OK. 1087 00:46:16,952 --> 00:46:18,637 Brian Johnson has been run over 1088 00:46:18,715 --> 00:46:21,731 by some people who think they are playing football. 1089 00:46:21,801 --> 00:46:23,892 - But they're not. - It's not football, is it? 1090 00:46:23,934 --> 00:46:25,134 Cos they don't use their feet. 1091 00:46:25,225 --> 00:46:27,043 That's not football. 1092 00:46:27,176 --> 00:46:29,402 That's just people dressing up. 1093 00:46:29,499 --> 00:46:30,941 (JEERING) 1094 00:46:30,966 --> 00:46:32,367 - That's... - We play football. 1095 00:46:32,392 --> 00:46:34,457 - We play football. - Yeah, with our feet. 1096 00:46:34,496 --> 00:46:36,457 - (JEERING CONTINUES) - We play football. 1097 00:46:36,645 --> 00:46:37,916 - MEN: Soccer! It's soccer! - What?! 1098 00:46:37,940 --> 00:46:40,817 It's not soccer! It's football that we play! 1099 00:46:40,895 --> 00:46:44,660 It's 6.75 billion people in the world call it football! 1100 00:46:44,714 --> 00:46:45,926 (JEERING CONTINUES) 1101 00:46:46,035 --> 00:46:47,746 You can moan and shout all you like. 1102 00:46:47,832 --> 00:46:49,752 The fact is, we're British and we edit this show, 1103 00:46:49,824 --> 00:46:51,120 and you'll just get cut out. 1104 00:46:51,246 --> 00:46:52,647 You will. 1105 00:46:53,423 --> 00:46:55,190 This is a rugby ball! 1106 00:46:55,254 --> 00:46:56,391 Look on the screen. 1107 00:46:56,473 --> 00:46:57,645 They're only playing 1108 00:46:57,670 --> 00:47:00,004 with the padding they were born with! 1109 00:47:00,262 --> 00:47:01,754 This is not a football! 1110 00:47:01,864 --> 00:47:03,698 They call it football. 1111 00:47:03,809 --> 00:47:05,335 (JEERING) 1112 00:47:07,603 --> 00:47:11,841 (CHANTING) USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! 1113 00:47:14,411 --> 00:47:15,615 So... 1114 00:47:15,701 --> 00:47:18,755 Brian Johnson has been run over by erm... 1115 00:47:18,966 --> 00:47:21,883 some supremely brave and talented footballers. 1116 00:47:21,884 --> 00:47:23,418 (CHEERING) 1117 00:47:23,419 --> 00:47:25,621 (APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH) 1118 00:47:26,923 --> 00:47:28,900 Er... 1119 00:47:29,228 --> 00:47:31,197 JAMES: Does that mean he's not coming on, then? 1120 00:47:31,261 --> 00:47:33,275 Well, James, he's been hammered 1121 00:47:33,345 --> 00:47:34,517 to the thickness of an envelope 1122 00:47:34,541 --> 00:47:37,332 and his spine is now a jigsaw, so that is a no. 1123 00:47:37,392 --> 00:47:38,994 - Fine. - (LAUGHTER) 1124 00:47:39,166 --> 00:47:41,127 Right, so what are we gonna do to fill the time? 1125 00:47:41,171 --> 00:47:42,033 I've got nothing. 1126 00:47:42,064 --> 00:47:43,015 We could get back 1127 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,103 to our important marine biology work. 1128 00:47:45,202 --> 00:47:46,845 - Plan. Do it. - Yes, let's do that. 1129 00:47:46,900 --> 00:47:48,386 So when we left the action, 1130 00:47:48,486 --> 00:47:50,579 erm... I'd successfully 1131 00:47:50,681 --> 00:47:52,923 welded two cars to the seabed, 1132 00:47:52,970 --> 00:47:54,205 and that was good. 1133 00:47:54,259 --> 00:47:57,061 Yeah, and we pick up the action the next day, 1134 00:47:57,158 --> 00:47:59,589 as we go back to finish the job. 1135 00:47:59,613 --> 00:48:02,946 ♪♪ 1136 00:48:03,055 --> 00:48:04,977 JEREMY: On our way to get the last car, 1137 00:48:05,042 --> 00:48:06,470 we stopped at the reef site 1138 00:48:06,518 --> 00:48:09,055 to make sure everything was OK. 1139 00:48:10,484 --> 00:48:12,087 Tom Daley! 1140 00:48:16,531 --> 00:48:18,067 (WHIMPERS) 1141 00:48:19,161 --> 00:48:20,794 I don't like it. 1142 00:48:20,843 --> 00:48:22,445 Oh. Oh. 1143 00:48:25,548 --> 00:48:28,101 And after a few moments in the water, 1144 00:48:28,218 --> 00:48:31,019 we discovered it wasn't. 1145 00:48:31,044 --> 00:48:34,166 Where the bloody hell are they? There's the buoy. 1146 00:48:34,224 --> 00:48:35,859 RICHARD: This is the wrong place. 1147 00:48:35,953 --> 00:48:37,734 JEREMY: Yes, that marks the spot. 1148 00:48:37,851 --> 00:48:39,470 They're just not here. 1149 00:48:39,554 --> 00:48:42,640 Why did we trust you to fix them in place? 1150 00:48:42,665 --> 00:48:44,899 - I didn't... Listen. - Of all people. 1151 00:48:44,937 --> 00:48:46,195 Well, I don't understand it, 1152 00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:48,882 cos I don't normally make a mess of... 1153 00:48:48,961 --> 00:48:50,588 Oh, you must have made a good job of it. 1154 00:48:50,613 --> 00:48:51,844 That's why they've gone! 1155 00:48:51,976 --> 00:48:54,203 There is evidence, or a lack of it, 1156 00:48:54,398 --> 00:48:55,733 to suggest you can't weld. 1157 00:48:55,758 --> 00:48:57,412 - Oh, shit. - Maybe a shark... 1158 00:48:57,413 --> 00:48:59,481 - Er... - What? 1159 00:48:59,711 --> 00:49:01,562 - What? - Look. 1160 00:49:01,927 --> 00:49:03,445 RICHARD: Oh, brilliant! 1161 00:49:03,519 --> 00:49:05,280 JAMES: How the hell did they do that, though? 1162 00:49:05,367 --> 00:49:07,929 JEREMY: You know this current that's whizzing us about? 1163 00:49:08,023 --> 00:49:10,664 RICHARD: Look at them! They're not gonna make a reef, are they?! 1164 00:49:10,819 --> 00:49:12,656 Well, maybe... it could be 1165 00:49:12,695 --> 00:49:14,765 like a play area for the privileged. 1166 00:49:14,824 --> 00:49:15,937 RICHARD: Some rusty cars? 1167 00:49:15,962 --> 00:49:16,944 JEREMY: That doesn't work, does it? 1168 00:49:16,969 --> 00:49:18,359 OTHERS: No. 1169 00:49:18,383 --> 00:49:21,446 ♪♪ 1170 00:49:21,471 --> 00:49:23,605 Obviously, we had to retrieve them, 1171 00:49:23,648 --> 00:49:25,281 which meant moving the raft 1172 00:49:25,341 --> 00:49:28,109 to the stern of our crane boat. 1173 00:49:29,672 --> 00:49:31,304 RICHARD: James, have you untied that end? 1174 00:49:31,381 --> 00:49:35,398 Yeah. Get ready to catch this rope. Here we go. 1175 00:49:35,914 --> 00:49:38,265 Pull it along a bit and get it sort of squared up. 1176 00:49:38,500 --> 00:49:39,788 I'll have a nice ride. 1177 00:49:39,851 --> 00:49:42,476 RICHARD: Right. Repositioning raft. 1178 00:49:42,703 --> 00:49:44,304 (CREAKING) 1179 00:49:44,664 --> 00:49:46,528 That's a reassuring noise. 1180 00:49:46,648 --> 00:49:50,508 RICHARD: Er... Where... Where's that come from? 1181 00:49:50,711 --> 00:49:52,066 James. James. 1182 00:49:52,195 --> 00:49:53,734 - What? - What's that doing over there? 1183 00:49:53,789 --> 00:49:54,844 What's what doing? 1184 00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:56,719 All this bamboo's come off. 1185 00:49:56,883 --> 00:49:58,320 What have you untied? 1186 00:49:58,374 --> 00:50:00,609 I've untied the piece of string at the front. 1187 00:50:00,656 --> 00:50:04,846 But, look, half the craft is disappearing. 1188 00:50:05,461 --> 00:50:07,982 JAMES: As the raft was disintegrating fast, 1189 00:50:08,148 --> 00:50:10,752 we had to get it to shore quickly. 1190 00:50:10,875 --> 00:50:13,156 JEREMY: Firing up the machine! 1191 00:50:15,248 --> 00:50:17,883 Sadly, though, Jeremy's turn of speed 1192 00:50:18,072 --> 00:50:19,891 only made things worse. 1193 00:50:19,959 --> 00:50:22,126 Power! Power! Come on! 1194 00:50:22,197 --> 00:50:23,499 Slow down! 1195 00:50:24,771 --> 00:50:26,857 It's falling apart! 1196 00:50:27,169 --> 00:50:29,505 RICHARD: Look, he's going down! JAMES: Slow down! 1197 00:50:29,687 --> 00:50:32,156 Slow! (YELLS) 1198 00:50:40,208 --> 00:50:42,584 RICHARD: You can't put cars on that, can you? 1199 00:50:43,278 --> 00:50:45,435 JEREMY: After we'd rescued James, 1200 00:50:45,521 --> 00:50:48,068 he stupidly suggested that, to solve the problem, 1201 00:50:48,216 --> 00:50:50,802 we should ruin everyone's holiday. 1202 00:50:51,060 --> 00:50:52,950 (ENGINE REVIVING) 1203 00:51:00,866 --> 00:51:03,624 I think these people should move out of the way. 1204 00:51:03,819 --> 00:51:06,808 My plan was to tow the cars off the beach 1205 00:51:06,866 --> 00:51:10,379 and back to the harbour so we could start again. 1206 00:51:10,546 --> 00:51:14,444 Which meant I'd need the help of the man from Atlantis. 1207 00:51:14,694 --> 00:51:17,486 Hold my hand! There! There! There! Now, let me go. 1208 00:51:17,487 --> 00:51:19,130 Yeah, that's me. You have to let... 1209 00:51:19,169 --> 00:51:22,223 Oh, mind my arm! Let me go now. I'm fine. 1210 00:51:22,504 --> 00:51:23,903 I don't like it! 1211 00:51:27,805 --> 00:51:29,440 Move! 1212 00:51:36,776 --> 00:51:40,323 Hammond, tie both of them to this and give me a thumbs up. 1213 00:51:40,432 --> 00:51:42,346 If James gets those onto the road, 1214 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,120 all the way back up to the harbour, 1215 00:51:44,229 --> 00:51:47,682 build another raft, get them loaded on... 1216 00:51:47,846 --> 00:51:50,768 bring them back, it's gonna take days. 1217 00:51:54,034 --> 00:51:56,143 - OK. - Don't stand near the back. 1218 00:51:56,214 --> 00:51:57,878 The brakes don't work. 1219 00:52:00,589 --> 00:52:02,258 Yeah! 1220 00:52:15,210 --> 00:52:17,946 - Well, now what? - That was rubbish. 1221 00:52:19,194 --> 00:52:21,883 I then said we should use my brilliant boat 1222 00:52:21,936 --> 00:52:24,553 to tow the cars back to the reef site, 1223 00:52:24,687 --> 00:52:27,389 which would be quicker and easier. 1224 00:52:32,290 --> 00:52:35,225 JEREMY: They're in the water! 1225 00:52:35,297 --> 00:52:36,962 (YELLS) 1226 00:52:37,190 --> 00:52:39,251 Ha-ha! Power! 1227 00:52:39,375 --> 00:52:40,931 Power! Come on! 1228 00:52:42,856 --> 00:52:44,290 Yes! 1229 00:52:44,474 --> 00:52:47,176 Eat my boat, James May! 1230 00:52:50,145 --> 00:52:51,279 Come on! 1231 00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:53,081 (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 1232 00:52:55,159 --> 00:52:57,495 Victory is the boat's! 1233 00:53:00,355 --> 00:53:03,081 James May's hopeless plan... 1234 00:53:04,393 --> 00:53:05,800 What was that? 1235 00:53:07,663 --> 00:53:10,511 With two rusty Peugeots in his swimming area 1236 00:53:10,566 --> 00:53:12,768 and his beach furniture in ruins, 1237 00:53:12,902 --> 00:53:15,097 the hotel manager had had enough 1238 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,979 and ordered us to leave. 1239 00:53:18,774 --> 00:53:22,911 We'd now lost four cars, a boat and our raft. 1240 00:53:23,183 --> 00:53:26,292 But on the plus side, we still had one car left, 1241 00:53:26,401 --> 00:53:29,784 and most importantly, the crane boat. 1242 00:53:30,612 --> 00:53:33,534 But that night, there was bad news. 1243 00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:41,479 The man who owns it is not best pleased with us. 1244 00:53:41,745 --> 00:53:44,609 - Because? - He has off-hired it. 1245 00:53:44,737 --> 00:53:47,536 - We've not got the crane boat? - No. 1246 00:53:47,698 --> 00:53:51,015 - That was the most useful thing we had. - Yeah. 1247 00:53:51,128 --> 00:53:54,909 So what can we possibly do with a Land Rover? 1248 00:53:55,206 --> 00:53:57,425 JAMES: Well... RICHARD: Well, what? 1249 00:53:57,450 --> 00:53:59,136 If I can be positive... 1250 00:53:59,625 --> 00:54:01,511 The Land Rover's largely aluminium, 1251 00:54:01,659 --> 00:54:03,995 which is actually even better for creating a reef. 1252 00:54:04,124 --> 00:54:05,659 - True. - But it's on the land! 1253 00:54:05,766 --> 00:54:08,034 Yes, it is true. The Land Rover is... 1254 00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:09,979 It's irrelevant. We've lost everything else. 1255 00:54:10,027 --> 00:54:12,534 Yes, but it's good if... 1256 00:54:14,564 --> 00:54:16,042 I've had a brainwave. 1257 00:54:16,326 --> 00:54:17,761 Oh, God. 1258 00:54:20,612 --> 00:54:22,580 JEREMY: And so, the next morning, 1259 00:54:22,605 --> 00:54:24,565 the people of Barbados were treated 1260 00:54:24,608 --> 00:54:26,342 to the magnificent spectacle 1261 00:54:26,641 --> 00:54:29,109 of a Land Rover gliding majestically 1262 00:54:29,187 --> 00:54:30,859 on a bed of inner tubes 1263 00:54:30,969 --> 00:54:33,582 across the Caribbean Sea. 1264 00:54:33,859 --> 00:54:36,438 Here we are on our final car, and it's a classic. 1265 00:54:36,602 --> 00:54:38,063 It's a Series I Land Rover. 1266 00:54:38,102 --> 00:54:39,602 No, it's a Series II. 1267 00:54:39,722 --> 00:54:41,602 It's a Series I. The lights are close together. 1268 00:54:41,664 --> 00:54:43,457 No, it's got the barrel rolls on the doors. 1269 00:54:43,507 --> 00:54:44,750 It's a Series II. 1270 00:54:44,827 --> 00:54:46,438 - That makes it a Series II? - Yeah. 1271 00:54:46,516 --> 00:54:48,274 I thought Series Ils had the lights angled. 1272 00:54:48,406 --> 00:54:49,806 I think we're getting stuck on this. 1273 00:54:49,899 --> 00:54:51,789 - It's a Land Rover. - It's an old Land Rover. 1274 00:54:51,852 --> 00:54:52,938 The good thing about it is 1275 00:54:53,038 --> 00:54:55,070 it corrodes much less quickly than the steel car. 1276 00:54:55,180 --> 00:54:57,914 We've also glued these limestone tiles to it, 1277 00:54:57,984 --> 00:55:01,953 because porous limestone is the perfect base, foundation, 1278 00:55:02,102 --> 00:55:03,617 for coral to start a reef. 1279 00:55:03,789 --> 00:55:06,766 This is a coral-reef-making machine. 1280 00:55:07,016 --> 00:55:10,051 In fact, the only fly in the ointment 1281 00:55:10,195 --> 00:55:12,953 was its propulsion system. 1282 00:55:13,156 --> 00:55:15,790 - Can I go a bit faster? - OTHERS: No! 1283 00:55:15,891 --> 00:55:17,926 RICHARD: It's filling with water the faster you go. 1284 00:55:17,927 --> 00:55:19,360 We'll sink it in the wrong place. 1285 00:55:19,361 --> 00:55:22,797 This is our last car, our last chance. 1286 00:55:23,148 --> 00:55:25,875 They're bleating on. "Oh, don't go too fast!" 1287 00:55:26,015 --> 00:55:28,637 RICHARD: You're going faster again, Jeremy! 1288 00:55:28,851 --> 00:55:30,601 You're pulling it under! 1289 00:55:31,173 --> 00:55:32,445 Relax! 1290 00:55:32,647 --> 00:55:34,382 JAMES: Am I the same species as that? 1291 00:55:34,407 --> 00:55:35,267 RICHARD: No. 1292 00:55:35,307 --> 00:55:37,687 Jeremy, don't sink it 1293 00:55:37,726 --> 00:55:39,548 before we get there! 1294 00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,026 Mother of God! Have you seen that? 1295 00:55:42,180 --> 00:55:43,652 - What? - Guys, look! 1296 00:55:43,868 --> 00:55:46,856 RICHARD: Oh, my God! JEREMY: Holy cow! Look at it! 1297 00:55:47,957 --> 00:55:49,926 RICHARD: That is phenomenal! 1298 00:55:50,044 --> 00:55:52,044 JEREMY: Yeah! Racing! 1299 00:55:52,137 --> 00:55:54,896 Jeremy, you're going to sink us! Don't race it! 1300 00:55:54,997 --> 00:55:57,801 Catch the... Oh, I haven't got time for these two. 1301 00:55:57,967 --> 00:56:01,873 Right. Let's go catch that sailing boat! 1302 00:56:03,042 --> 00:56:05,111 Oh, brilliant! 1303 00:56:05,135 --> 00:56:09,784 ♪♪ 1304 00:56:09,808 --> 00:56:14,135 ♪♪ 1305 00:56:14,159 --> 00:56:17,260 ♪♪ 1306 00:56:17,352 --> 00:56:19,612 Watch this, sunshine. 1307 00:56:19,636 --> 00:56:23,010 ♪♪ 1308 00:56:23,221 --> 00:56:24,862 That is the fastest thing I've... 1309 00:56:24,948 --> 00:56:27,667 Why is it faster than me? 1310 00:56:27,691 --> 00:56:31,018 ♪♪ 1311 00:56:31,042 --> 00:56:34,768 ♪♪ 1312 00:56:34,807 --> 00:56:38,698 They're so good, breeze is beating brake horsepower. 1313 00:56:38,741 --> 00:56:40,724 I cannot keep up with it. 1314 00:56:44,770 --> 00:56:47,122 RICHARD: When do we drink our own urine? 1315 00:56:47,616 --> 00:56:49,318 Look at that thing now! 1316 00:56:49,342 --> 00:56:52,997 ♪♪ 1317 00:56:53,021 --> 00:56:57,419 ♪♪ 1318 00:56:57,492 --> 00:56:58,981 Bloody Nora! 1319 00:56:59,005 --> 00:57:02,341 ♪♪ 1320 00:57:02,434 --> 00:57:05,466 ♪♪ 1321 00:57:05,677 --> 00:57:08,677 That is just... fabulous! 1322 00:57:08,701 --> 00:57:12,294 ♪♪ 1323 00:57:13,817 --> 00:57:16,186 ♪♪ 1324 00:57:16,270 --> 00:57:19,423 I could have buzzed around this amazing machine all day, 1325 00:57:19,448 --> 00:57:22,800 but there was still important environmental work to do. 1326 00:57:22,894 --> 00:57:25,082 So, reluctantly, I broke off 1327 00:57:25,154 --> 00:57:28,043 to rejoin my stranded colleagues. 1328 00:57:28,965 --> 00:57:32,136 ♪♪ 1329 00:57:32,261 --> 00:57:34,011 - Are you all right? - Well, no! 1330 00:57:34,063 --> 00:57:36,761 We've just been left to drift in a Land Rover! 1331 00:57:36,902 --> 00:57:39,222 Fortunately for you, none of these ceramic tiles is loose, 1332 00:57:39,268 --> 00:57:41,254 otherwise I'd chuck it at your head. 1333 00:57:41,278 --> 00:57:44,894 ♪♪ 1334 00:57:44,918 --> 00:57:48,879 ♪♪ 1335 00:57:49,011 --> 00:57:50,851 Do you know, I think it actually handles better 1336 00:57:50,913 --> 00:57:52,543 than it does on land. 1337 00:57:52,722 --> 00:57:55,416 Soon, we will reach the reef site, 1338 00:57:55,597 --> 00:57:57,419 puncture the inner tubes, the Land Rover will sink, 1339 00:57:57,443 --> 00:58:00,300 and it will become a safe haven for cod 1340 00:58:00,349 --> 00:58:04,558 and... haddock and... bream. 1341 00:58:04,582 --> 00:58:06,863 ♪♪ 1342 00:58:06,921 --> 00:58:08,721 Eventually, we reached the site 1343 00:58:08,754 --> 00:58:11,801 and said about scuttling our reef machine. 1344 00:58:11,825 --> 00:58:15,872 ♪♪ 1345 00:58:16,013 --> 00:58:19,536 ♪♪ 1346 00:58:19,645 --> 00:58:21,614 JEREMY: Fire! 1347 00:58:21,786 --> 00:58:24,346 JAMES: Yes! JEREMY: Yes! 1348 00:58:28,458 --> 00:58:30,309 JEREMY: Here we go! 1349 00:58:30,474 --> 00:58:32,509 Down! Sink! 1350 00:58:32,643 --> 00:58:34,098 JAMES: Whoo! 1351 00:58:34,122 --> 00:58:38,242 ♪♪ 1352 00:58:38,266 --> 00:58:41,390 ♪♪ 1353 00:58:42,161 --> 00:58:45,078 In truth, all great environmental projects 1354 00:58:45,164 --> 00:58:47,172 are beset with problems. 1355 00:58:47,269 --> 00:58:50,375 And ours, through no fault of our own, except James's, 1356 00:58:50,476 --> 00:58:51,945 was no exception. 1357 00:58:54,823 --> 00:58:57,570 Save it! Stop! 1358 00:59:00,297 --> 00:59:02,718 (YELLS) 1359 00:59:03,853 --> 00:59:05,547 So, in the end, our new reef 1360 00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:08,539 wasn't quite as spectacular as we'd hoped. 1361 00:59:08,695 --> 00:59:10,117 But it was a start, 1362 00:59:10,202 --> 00:59:12,734 and one day it'll be the core of something 1363 00:59:12,797 --> 00:59:14,437 a thousand miles long... 1364 00:59:14,597 --> 00:59:16,726 a new and beautiful home 1365 00:59:16,875 --> 00:59:20,726 for the cod and the haddock of the Caribbean. 1366 00:59:44,159 --> 00:59:46,527 - (CHEERING) - Thank you so much. 1367 00:59:46,815 --> 00:59:49,385 And a very big thank you to the government of Barbados 1368 00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:50,721 for helping us with that film. 1369 00:59:50,784 --> 00:59:53,807 And we'd just like to say no coral was damaged 1370 00:59:53,893 --> 00:59:55,346 while we were building our reef. 1371 00:59:55,456 --> 00:59:59,190 No. Or, if we're perfectly honest, created. 1372 00:59:59,385 --> 01:00:01,342 However, we came back with a brilliant idea. 1373 01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:03,111 You see, we liked it in the Caribbean. 1374 01:00:03,145 --> 01:00:05,151 You know, our crews liked it in the Caribbean. 1375 01:00:05,291 --> 01:00:07,393 So we thought it would be a good idea, next week, 1376 01:00:07,456 --> 01:00:08,385 to make a film 1377 01:00:08,417 --> 01:00:11,119 comparing the motoring cultures of the French, 1378 01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:12,534 the Dutch and the British Islands. 1379 01:00:12,621 --> 01:00:14,627 - Yeah, it was a great idea. - Brilliant idea. 1380 01:00:14,664 --> 01:00:16,002 But Mr Wilman, our producer, 1381 01:00:16,058 --> 01:00:17,932 he decided it wasn't a brilliant idea, 1382 01:00:17,957 --> 01:00:18,909 and that, instead, 1383 01:00:18,979 --> 01:00:21,354 we should go to northern France with three old cars 1384 01:00:21,430 --> 01:00:23,721 - and drive around in the rain. - (LAUGHTER) 1385 01:00:23,854 --> 01:00:25,299 So that's what we're actually doing. 1386 01:00:25,346 --> 01:00:27,510 And on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end. 1387 01:00:27,581 --> 01:00:29,135 Thank you so much for watching. 1388 01:00:29,213 --> 01:00:31,807 Thank you for coming. See you soon. Take care. 1389 01:00:31,881 --> 01:00:33,583 - RICHARD: See you next time. - (CHEERING) 1390 01:00:33,607 --> 01:00:35,607 Sync corrections done by srjanapala